Most common challenges in managing any of the StrengthsFinder Talent Themes

By Dries Lombaard
Strategic Leadership Institute and NeuWorx Coaching

Over the past 18 months I wrote on each of the 34 Talent themes and some of the most common challenges in managing them well.  I took the insight from my experience through hundreds of sessions of Strengths Coaching over the past decade.

This is a very helpful resource for Strengths Coaches, leaders, managers or anyone striving to build more on your own Strengths.

My foundational principle for this series is as follows:  "A well-managed talent becomes a strength...but a miss-managed talent becomes a detriment."  
This very principle also forms the core of my Strengths Coaching sessions.  I never use the cliche that "your strength becomes your weakness", simply because I do not believe it to be true.  Your Strengths will never be your weakness because it will never weaken or drain you.  But, it may very well become your detriment...wrecking your dreams, relationships and even your health.

I believe the awareness of your Talents by understanding their contribution is a very small step in the start of your Strengths journey.  The real challenge is managing the patterns of thinking, feeling and behaving of each of the 34 Talent themes well.  I have witnessed countless of lives change with the knowledge and skill of well managed talents.  Only then can you truly claim it to be your Strength.  Otherwise is may well simply be your detriment...

Herewith the list of all 34 the StrengthsFinder Talent Theme articles on how to manage it well. Simply click on the one you want to read about.

I will also welcome any comments or feedback from your side - you are after all the expert on your own talents!


Enjoy!


Executing Talents:

Managing your Achiever
Managing your Arranger
Managing your Belief
Managing your Consistency
Managing your Discipline
Managing your Deliberative
Managing your Focus
Managing your Responsibility
Managing your Restorative

Influencing Talents:

Managing your Activator
Managing your Command
Managing your Competition
Managing your Communication
Managing your Maximizer
Managing your Self Assurance
Managing your Significance
Managing your WOO

Relational Talents:

Managing your Adaptability
Managing your Connectedness
Managing your Developer
Managing your Empathy
Managing your Harmony
Managing your Individualization
Managing your Includer
Managing your Positivity
Managing your Relator

Thinking Talents

Managing your Analytical
Managing your Context
Managing your Futuristic
Managing your Ideation
Managing your Input
Managing your Intellection
Managing your Learner
Managing your Strategic

Managing your Talents [34] - Positivity

By Dries Lombaard

According to Gallup, the essence of the talent theme of Positivity is the following:

“You are generous with praise, quick to smile, and always on the lookout for the positive in the situation. Some call you lighthearted. Others just wish that their glass were as full as yours seems to be. But either way, people want to be around you. Their world looks better around you because your enthusiasm is contagious. Lacking your energy and optimism, some find their world drab with repetition or, worse, heavy with pressure. You seem to find a way to lighten their spirit. You inject drama into every project. You celebrate every achievement. You find ways to make everything more exciting and more vital. Some cynics may reject your energy, but you are rarely dragged down. Your Positivity won’t allow it. Somehow you can’t quite escape your conviction that it is good to be alive, that work can be fun, and that no matter what the setbacks, one must never lose one’s sense of humor."
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But a talent like this on itself is quite meaningless unless you develop and manage it.   That is why we believe that "a well managed talent becomes a strength, but a mismanaged talent becomes a detriment".

How do you manage the talent of Positivity?

Obviously the talent theme of Positivity is mostly about "being positive"....but you should understand that the talent is different than the value or even characteristic of being positive. I prefer to refer to it as the "talent of Intensity".  
This intensity is not a bad thing.  As described in the description above, you are all about energy.  You light up a room.  You are the energy of the team.
This contribution will be very natural for you. It has a flip side though:  you may want to manage the energy levels or else they may really become quite overwhelming for people around you.  They are not used to the levels of optimism and energy you find natural...

How?

Practice to "turn down the volume" on your Positivity talent at times.  This is actually also meant literally with Positivity! Your intense optimism need to be managed in the very same way as your "opposite" talent theme, Deliberative, should manage their criticism. You will always see the bright side of life, and will mostly lift others to see it too.  But also know that at times you need to turn your energy down to engage those around you more.  It is done with a simple decision, which directs your behavior. Be sure not to understand this as meaning you should turn off the Positivity!  Don't even try to - it is the natural you. But if circumstances warrants, you can surely manage its intensity.   

Your Positivity most likely has a "shadow side" to it. That very same intensity that can cheer people up and lift the room, can also turn towards the intense need to be alone. You may even at times feel very down or depressed. Knowing this will help you manage it. No talent has only one dimension to it. Every talent theme has a flip side. If you understand the thoughts, emotions and behavior of the flip side in the same way you understand the thoughts, feeling and behavior of the natural contribution, you will be better equipped to manage the talent well in all its dimensions.  Understanding that your Positivity need some "alone time", and need some nurturing of its own, will help you to enjoy the talent to its full.

How?

Grant yourself time alone.  Even if you are an extrovert, you also need recharging on your own at times.  Your Positivity has the need for abundant expression, but also for refilling. If you do not do this and grant yourself "me" time, your Positivity may react in an opposite manner to its nature, and you may actually feel the intensity of tiredness and depression.  It is again all about a decision to manage your time, and fill your talent with its need - not only contribute with it.  By listening to your inner energy you will know your capacity for intensity and positivity.  Make sure you do not deplete yourself.

Now, go fill your world with positive energy!!

Managing your Talents [33] - Includer

By Dries Lombaard

According to Gallup, the essence of the talent theme of Includer is the following:

“Stretch the circle wider.” This is the philosophy around which you orient your life. You want to include people and make them feel part of the group. In direct contrast to those who are drawn only to exclusive groups, you actively avoid those groups that exclude others. You want to expand the group so that as many people as possible can benefit from its support. You hate the sight of someone on the outside looking in. You want to draw them in so that they can feel the warmth of the group. You are an instinctively accepting person. Regardless of race or sex or nationality or personality or faith, you cast few judgments. Judgments can hurt a person’s feelings. Why do that if you don’t have to? Your accepting nature does not necessarily rest on a belief that each of us is different and that one should respect these differences. Rather, it rests on your conviction that fundamentally we are all the same. We are all equally important. Thus, no one should be ignored. Each of us should be included. It is the least we all deserve.

But a talent like this on itself is quite meaningless unless you develop and manage it.   That is why we believe that "a well managed talent becomes a strength, but a mismanaged talent becomes a detriment".

How do you manage the talent of Includer?

Your Includer patterns of thoughts, feelings and behaviors are such a part of your nature that you will include without any prejudice.  Actually, to not include to you is a prejudice.  
This is obviously a quality to be treasured. But sometimes this quality can override the social- or emotional intelligence within a situation or relationship.  It is important to understand that inclusion is not by default a good thing.  Sometimes discretion is needed. Sometimes it is better for someone to be excluded than included.  This may cause emotions within you that resist the exclusion.  But your own emotional and social intelligence must then command your Includer talent to stand back. Widening the circle is not the only way to create acceptance, teams or synergy. In reality it could be detrimental towards these qualities.  There is a time to close a circle. To shut the door.  To not share an email. 

How?

Like so many other skills in talent management, it starts with the awareness of this natural reaction of your talent theme.  You will not think this to be the case.  You will not feel it to be right.  You will not want to act to exclude.  So it need to be a skill of mind over matter.  And this can only be the case once you see the "why" behind the action.  Obviously you are a natural includer and you need to stay exactly that.  But if you see and understand why some circles need to be closed, You will be able to do exactly that if you need to. Do not let your emotions take the lead over good judgement in this case. There really are something like "a need to know basis". Everyone need not to know, or to be included.

Your Includer pattern of thinking, feeling and emotion has a very specific need.....to include. This is a no brainer.  But what is just as strong, and something not all includes manage well, is the need to also be included. This is not a bad thing.  In reality everyone has the need to be included in some way or the other at times.  But with you, as a natural Includer, the need is a lot stronger. It can actually be overwhelming. You may even find that you battle emotions of rejection from time to time because you were excluded in some way. In many cases you also were not excluded at all....you were simply not included.  There is a difference. Very often also you were simply not part of the process, the team or the interaction. Your need for inclusion overwhelms you with feelings of rejection that nobody else projects towards you.  You may even be a nuisance to others by acting on this need for inclusion and therefor "forcing" yourself into the circle at every possible occasion.  Exactly that kind of behavior could then well cause intentional exclusion or rejection. But you caused it through letting your Includer talent hijack your emotions, thoughts and actions.  You can change this pattern.

How?

Stop.  Yes, it is that simple. Stop forcing yourself to be part of everything.  Accept that exclusion is not synonymous with rejection. Also accept the fact that as an Includer you may well be including someone and then be excluded by the same person - and it is not necessarily done with any negative intention in mind.

Remember that you do have control over your talents. You always have a choice.  At the Strengths Institute we have a principle as follows:  "If you know it, you can grow it.  If you understand it, you can command it.  If you know when you need it, you can feed it."  Your talents are not superpowers which you have no control over.  Then you are a victim of your own strengths. You are always in control of your own thinking, feelings and behavior.  Just take that control, otherwise your strengths will run wild.

Keep including. Do it wisely. Do it often. Do it well. Because you can!


Dries Lombaard is the co-owner of Strategic Leadership Institute and NeuWorx, and has more than 7000 hours of Strengths Coaching experience over the last decade.  He is leading a vibrant and growing network of Strengths Coaches in Southern Africa, and works with corporate and multinational leadership and management teams and C-level leaders as a Strengths Coach and training facilitator.  

Managing your Talents [32] - Harmony

By Dries Lombaard

According to Gallup, the essence of the talent theme of Harmony is the following:

You look for areas of agreement. In your view there is little to be gained from conflict and friction, so you seek to hold them to a minimum. When you know that the people around you hold differing views, you try to find the common ground. You try to steer

them away from confrontation and toward harmony. In fact, harmony is one of your guiding values. You can’t quite believe how much time is wasted by people trying to impose their views on others. Wouldn’t we all be more productive if we kept our opinions in check and instead looked for consensus and support? You believe we would, and you live by that belief. When others are sounding off about their goals, their claims, and their fervently held opinions, you hold your peace. When others strike out in a direction, you will willingly, in the service of harmony, modify your own objectives to merge with theirs (as long as their basic values do not clash with yours). When others start to argue about their pet theory or concept, you steer clear of the debate, preferring to talk about practical, down-to-earth matters on which you can all agree. In your view we are all in the same boat, and we need this boat to get where we are going. It is a good boat. There is no need to rock it just to show that you can.

But a talent like this on itself is quite meaningless unless you develop and manage it.   That is why we believe that "a well managed talent becomes a strength, but a mismanaged talent becomes a detriment".

How do you manage the talent of Harmony?

Your Harmony is very intuitive. It can sense an atmosphere in a room in an instant. The brilliance of this is that it can work for a win-win. But, most people with a strong Harmony talent do not like conflict at all. In fact, you may try to avoid it at all cost. 
You need to manage the fact that you will be involve in conflict in life. The only way to avoid it, is to either hide somewhere, or to capitulate on all your values, beliefs or needs. Your Harmony has a very strong emotional effect on you. But this should be an empowering emotion, not a paralyzing one.  Where other talents (like Command, for instance) are energized by confrontation, your Harmony may find it detrimental in a way that it completely drains you emotionally.  The feeling is normal.  The effect it may have on you need not be a detriment if managed well.

How?

Conflict management is a skill that you need to learn.  Remember that the skill of conflict management does not only apply to those who want to avoid it, but also to those who over-react to it.  You can find plenty of books and articles on conflict management. (Read one I wrote in this blog here.)  There are also numerous courses you can attend to develop a skill for optimum conflict management.  You will learn that there are different styles of conflict management, some which will suit your Harmony perfectly. (Read what I wrote about these styles here).  
What you may not realize is that a well managed Harmony has the ability to engage in conflict in a manner which will give the advantage of outcome not only to you, but to others also.  A true win-win.  

Harmony contributes harmony.  It has a need for peace and fairness. Just remember that a Harmony talent which is over-used may actually hinder development and growth, in yourself and others. The Harmony talent is one of those which goes with strong Emotional Intelligence.  All talents need high EQ, but the Relational talents (like Harmony) thrives when it is supported by EQ.  Sometimes the over-use of Harmony causes you to actually have a detrimental effect on productivity, growth or development.  That is simply because harmony is not always the best environment where growth, development or productivity occurs best.  People grow outside of their comfort zone.  And mostly that means that they are "out of harmony".  And you will have to allow this to happen.

How?

Be conscious of the fact that some situations need NOT to be harmonious, but actually uncomfortable.  Manage your emotions in such a way that it allows this kind of situation.  Mostly it is simply a decision. If you see the outcome as positive and needed you will be more in control of this emotion.
Harmony is a natural emotional need with you. So it will always take conscious decisions to hold that emotion in check.  It is a "mind over emotion" action.
Remember that you cannot "switch off" a talent theme.  And you should never attempt to.  But, you can turn down the volume, or add some base, treble or rhythm to it.  All this is possible with conscious decisions and a desirable outcome.

Go create harmony!!


Dries Lombaard is the co-owner of Strategic Leadership Institute and NeuWorx, and has more than 7000 hours of Strengths Coaching experience over the last decade.  He is leading a vibrant and growing network of Strengths Coaches in Southern Africa, and works with corporate and multinational leadership and management teams and C-level leaders as a Strengths Coach and training facilitator.  

Managing your Talents [31] - Empathy

By Dries Lombaard

According to Gallup, the essence of the talent theme of Empathy is the following:

"You can sense the emotions of those around you. You can feel what they are feeling as though their feelings are your own. Intuitively, you are able to see the world through their eyes and share their perspective. You do not necessarily agree with each person’s perspective. You do not necessarily feel pity for each person’s predicament — this would be sympathy, not Empathy. You do not necessarily condone the choices each person makes, but you do understand. This instinctive ability to understand is powerful. You hear the unvoiced questions. You anticipate the need. Where others grapple for words, you seem to find the right words and the right tone. You help people find the right phrases to express their feelings — to themselves as well as to others. You help them give voice to their emotional life. For all these reasons other people are drawn to you."

But a talent like this on itself is quite meaningless unless you develop and manage it. That is why we believe that "a well managed talent becomes a strength, but a mismanaged talent becomes a detriment".

How do you manage the talent of Empathy?

The talent of Empathy is very unique in the way it gives you a sense of emotions. It can be regarded as one of only a few "sensing" talent themes - giving you the ability to sense emotions intuitively.

This intuition of yours will create a sense of trust in most people when they encounter you.  They are aware of your respect for their emotions.  But, in the same way it can also be in a strange way "threatening" to some.  The fact that you are tuned in to the emotions around you, and intuitively sense it in people, also cause your behavior to be accurate when you respond to peoples emotions.  When people then try to hide their feelings - for whatever reason - and the see you reacting to their "hidden emotions", they may withdraw from you.  Do not take this personally.  You will want to manage the circumstance and manage your own emotions if this happens.

How?

Be aware of your intuitive sense, and therefor the fact that people may find it awkward or uncomfortable when you sense how they feel, and react to it. Remember that it is absolutely natural for you to be tuned in to emotions. The mere fact that you feel what others feel is a gift. Manage this gift by acquiring a sensitivity towards people when you pick up that they may feel uncomfortable in your presence. Do not talk about emotions or personal things - rather make small talk and set them at ease. The most important skill you should have is the ability to know when people opens the foot for you to enter into their emotional world, and when you  should not.  This is the essence of respect for boundaries. And this is a skill of emotional intelligence and maturity. Practice this, without being withdrawn from people as they might need you to step closer to their hearts. But make sure they are ready.

Do not mistake this beautiful talent theme as useless when it comes to leadership or to high performance environments. If well managed, this is exactly where your talent can make a huge difference!

People make the huge mistake to stereotype certain talent themes and box them within specific environments, to specific roles or within specific functions. With Empathy people may see it as a "soft" talent that cannot be assertive or lead with confidence. Nonsense. A well managed Empathy is exactly what people need in leadership. Especially within the corporate business world, leadership is misunderstood as emotionless drive.  Actually, what followers need is compassion, stability, trust and hope (Strengths Based Leadership, Tom Rath, Gallup Press). The Empathy talent is a perfect fit for these needs in followers.  But you should put it out there with decisiveness.

How?

Do not look down on your Empathy talent (or on those of others) as a "soft, push-over" type of talent.  That is a wrong assumption and actually the core of projection, labeling and judging.  A well managed Empathy is actually an extremely strong and stable talent theme.  You stand firm when most crumble under the weight of emotional pressure or emotional turmoil.  And, believe it or not, people and emotion goes together....
Celebrate your Empathy talent by embracing it as a strength. It makes you strong. It gives you an important advantage. It is an ability of intuition that is exactly what the world needs more of.  

Finally:  most people are very upset when Empathy is assessed as being low on their StrengthsFinder Full 34 report.  "But, I have empathy!" or "I am not a heartless person!" will be the feedback I hear.
Listen....we can all care.  We should care.  But empathy is not caring. Caring is sympathy.
Empathy is "Carrying".  If you carry the emotions and feelings with someone, in your thoughts, emotions and actions, then you have empathy.  And if you carry without even deciding to - then you have the talent of Empathy!

Lead with empathy. Live with empathy. It is a strength.

Dries Lombaard is the co-owner of Strategic Leadership Institute and NeuWorx, and has more than 7000 hours of Strengths Coaching experience over the last decade.  He is leading a vibrant and growing network of Strengths Coaches in Southern Africa, and works with corporate and multinational leadership and management teams and C-level leaders as a Strengths Coach and training facilitator.