Most common challenges in managing any of the StrengthsFinder Talent Themes

By Dries Lombaard
Strategic Leadership Institute and NeuWorx Coaching

Over the past 18 months I wrote on each of the 34 Talent themes and some of the most common challenges in managing them well.  I took the insight from my experience through hundreds of sessions of Strengths Coaching over the past decade.

This is a very helpful resource for Strengths Coaches, leaders, managers or anyone striving to build more on your own Strengths.

My foundational principle for this series is as follows:  "A well-managed talent becomes a strength...but a miss-managed talent becomes a detriment."  
This very principle also forms the core of my Strengths Coaching sessions.  I never use the cliche that "your strength becomes your weakness", simply because I do not believe it to be true.  Your Strengths will never be your weakness because it will never weaken or drain you.  But, it may very well become your detriment...wrecking your dreams, relationships and even your health.

I believe the awareness of your Talents by understanding their contribution is a very small step in the start of your Strengths journey.  The real challenge is managing the patterns of thinking, feeling and behaving of each of the 34 Talent themes well.  I have witnessed countless of lives change with the knowledge and skill of well managed talents.  Only then can you truly claim it to be your Strength.  Otherwise is may well simply be your detriment...

Herewith the list of all 34 the StrengthsFinder Talent Theme articles on how to manage it well. Simply click on the one you want to read about.

I will also welcome any comments or feedback from your side - you are after all the expert on your own talents!


Enjoy!


Executing Talents:

Managing your Achiever
Managing your Arranger
Managing your Belief
Managing your Consistency
Managing your Discipline
Managing your Deliberative
Managing your Focus
Managing your Responsibility
Managing your Restorative

Influencing Talents:

Managing your Activator
Managing your Command
Managing your Competition
Managing your Communication
Managing your Maximizer
Managing your Self Assurance
Managing your Significance
Managing your WOO

Relational Talents:

Managing your Adaptability
Managing your Connectedness
Managing your Developer
Managing your Empathy
Managing your Harmony
Managing your Individualization
Managing your Includer
Managing your Positivity
Managing your Relator

Thinking Talents

Managing your Analytical
Managing your Context
Managing your Futuristic
Managing your Ideation
Managing your Input
Managing your Intellection
Managing your Learner
Managing your Strategic

Managing your Talents [32] - Harmony

By Dries Lombaard

According to Gallup, the essence of the talent theme of Harmony is the following:

You look for areas of agreement. In your view there is little to be gained from conflict and friction, so you seek to hold them to a minimum. When you know that the people around you hold differing views, you try to find the common ground. You try to steer

them away from confrontation and toward harmony. In fact, harmony is one of your guiding values. You can’t quite believe how much time is wasted by people trying to impose their views on others. Wouldn’t we all be more productive if we kept our opinions in check and instead looked for consensus and support? You believe we would, and you live by that belief. When others are sounding off about their goals, their claims, and their fervently held opinions, you hold your peace. When others strike out in a direction, you will willingly, in the service of harmony, modify your own objectives to merge with theirs (as long as their basic values do not clash with yours). When others start to argue about their pet theory or concept, you steer clear of the debate, preferring to talk about practical, down-to-earth matters on which you can all agree. In your view we are all in the same boat, and we need this boat to get where we are going. It is a good boat. There is no need to rock it just to show that you can.

But a talent like this on itself is quite meaningless unless you develop and manage it.   That is why we believe that "a well managed talent becomes a strength, but a mismanaged talent becomes a detriment".

How do you manage the talent of Harmony?

Your Harmony is very intuitive. It can sense an atmosphere in a room in an instant. The brilliance of this is that it can work for a win-win. But, most people with a strong Harmony talent do not like conflict at all. In fact, you may try to avoid it at all cost. 
You need to manage the fact that you will be involve in conflict in life. The only way to avoid it, is to either hide somewhere, or to capitulate on all your values, beliefs or needs. Your Harmony has a very strong emotional effect on you. But this should be an empowering emotion, not a paralyzing one.  Where other talents (like Command, for instance) are energized by confrontation, your Harmony may find it detrimental in a way that it completely drains you emotionally.  The feeling is normal.  The effect it may have on you need not be a detriment if managed well.

How?

Conflict management is a skill that you need to learn.  Remember that the skill of conflict management does not only apply to those who want to avoid it, but also to those who over-react to it.  You can find plenty of books and articles on conflict management. (Read one I wrote in this blog here.)  There are also numerous courses you can attend to develop a skill for optimum conflict management.  You will learn that there are different styles of conflict management, some which will suit your Harmony perfectly. (Read what I wrote about these styles here).  
What you may not realize is that a well managed Harmony has the ability to engage in conflict in a manner which will give the advantage of outcome not only to you, but to others also.  A true win-win.  

Harmony contributes harmony.  It has a need for peace and fairness. Just remember that a Harmony talent which is over-used may actually hinder development and growth, in yourself and others. The Harmony talent is one of those which goes with strong Emotional Intelligence.  All talents need high EQ, but the Relational talents (like Harmony) thrives when it is supported by EQ.  Sometimes the over-use of Harmony causes you to actually have a detrimental effect on productivity, growth or development.  That is simply because harmony is not always the best environment where growth, development or productivity occurs best.  People grow outside of their comfort zone.  And mostly that means that they are "out of harmony".  And you will have to allow this to happen.

How?

Be conscious of the fact that some situations need NOT to be harmonious, but actually uncomfortable.  Manage your emotions in such a way that it allows this kind of situation.  Mostly it is simply a decision. If you see the outcome as positive and needed you will be more in control of this emotion.
Harmony is a natural emotional need with you. So it will always take conscious decisions to hold that emotion in check.  It is a "mind over emotion" action.
Remember that you cannot "switch off" a talent theme.  And you should never attempt to.  But, you can turn down the volume, or add some base, treble or rhythm to it.  All this is possible with conscious decisions and a desirable outcome.

Go create harmony!!


Dries Lombaard is the co-owner of Strategic Leadership Institute and NeuWorx, and has more than 7000 hours of Strengths Coaching experience over the last decade.  He is leading a vibrant and growing network of Strengths Coaches in Southern Africa, and works with corporate and multinational leadership and management teams and C-level leaders as a Strengths Coach and training facilitator.  

3 Reasons Why Young Leaders Neglect Relationship

"How do I get more influence?"

I hear this question a lot. Every time I sit down with a young leader, in fact. I hear it at the end of the day, too, ringing in my ears. Because it's something I often ask myself.

For most of my life, I've wanted to be popular. Isn't this what we're plagued with for most of our young lives -- the seductive temptation to be "cool"?

In grade school, I used to watch the other kids play outside while I remained indoors, lamenting to my mom that no one wanted to play with me.

"Why don't you just go join them?" my mother would ask, sighing. I never did.

In high school, in between being bullied by upperclassmen, I would watch movies, drink too much soda, and complain that I never had anything to do.

"Why don't you call someone, Jeff?! Be the initiator." She had memorized the script by now.

Eventually, I did. But it took an inciting incident as powerful as a friend collapsing dead on the gymnasium floor before I would get off the couch. Sometimes, it takes a tragedy for us to realize what's important. For me, it was the realization that relationships matter, but that they take intentionality to build.

We all want influence, but very few of us are willing to do the work earn it. Influence begins (and ends) with relationship. A lot of young leaders overlook this. Here are three reasons why.

1. Pride
I think I'm hot stuff. So do other young leaders. We all want to be self-made men and women. We've got a degree, a great skill set, and ambition. Isn't that enough? No. No it's not.

Excellent leaders recognize that they need the help of others to succeed. They count on it. They build teams of people who are strong in the areas that they're weak. And they're humble enough to admit what those areas are.

2. Laziness
Relationship takes work. A lot more work than just sitting in a corner with all your great ideas and vision, waiting for someone to notice you.

Relationships are "squishy." They require a certain amount of intuition. For a task-oriented person like me, they're easier just to skip. But if you do that, you forego the opportunity to influence. You end up with no one to lead and no real work to do.

3. Fear
Relationships are risky, especially new ones.

We may say that we're "not touchy feely" or "Type A," but let's call it what it is: fear. We're afraid to risk rejection or failure, so we avoid the messiness of relationship.

Fear holds us back from being our true selves. Fear is a liar. Fear will raise irrational doubts and fears in you that you never would have thought on your own.

Fear is the enemy to success. And you must slay it today if you're going to lead tomorrow.

What do you do?

There is no magic bullet or formula for working through each of these obstacles. We must simply choose to make relationships matter.

The most successful leaders in the world are not successful merely because of their abilities or their accomplishments. They're successful, because they've learned how to build and harness important relationships.

In fact, successfully building influential relationships may be the hardest skill of all.

So how do you become a person of influence? You do the opposite of the above:

1. Serve
You humble yourself. Join someone else's dream before trying to launch your own. Come alongside someone else's dream before trying to launch your own.

2. Hustle
Notice that I didn't say "stalk." Work hard to deepen existing relationships and build new ones. Go the extra mile. Show up early. Leave late. Show the person that you're trying to build a relationship with that you value their time. Say "thank you."

3. Risk
Saying "be brave" (as a solution to the obstacle of fear) would ring hollow and untrue. It doesn't work like that.

Courage is not just facing fear, but working through it.

Take risks. Make bold asks. Practice being brave, and pretty soon you actually will be.

Jeff Goins is a writer, idea guy, and all-around cool dude. He works with Adventures in Missions, lives in Nashville with his wife Ashley and dog Lyric. You can follow Jeff's blog at goinswriter.com or connect with him on twitter @jeffgoins. Jeff is passionate about words and the difference they can make in the world.