Managing your Talents [32] - Harmony

By Dries Lombaard

According to Gallup, the essence of the talent theme of Harmony is the following:

You look for areas of agreement. In your view there is little to be gained from conflict and friction, so you seek to hold them to a minimum. When you know that the people around you hold differing views, you try to find the common ground. You try to steer

them away from confrontation and toward harmony. In fact, harmony is one of your guiding values. You can’t quite believe how much time is wasted by people trying to impose their views on others. Wouldn’t we all be more productive if we kept our opinions in check and instead looked for consensus and support? You believe we would, and you live by that belief. When others are sounding off about their goals, their claims, and their fervently held opinions, you hold your peace. When others strike out in a direction, you will willingly, in the service of harmony, modify your own objectives to merge with theirs (as long as their basic values do not clash with yours). When others start to argue about their pet theory or concept, you steer clear of the debate, preferring to talk about practical, down-to-earth matters on which you can all agree. In your view we are all in the same boat, and we need this boat to get where we are going. It is a good boat. There is no need to rock it just to show that you can.

But a talent like this on itself is quite meaningless unless you develop and manage it.   That is why we believe that "a well managed talent becomes a strength, but a mismanaged talent becomes a detriment".

How do you manage the talent of Harmony?

Your Harmony is very intuitive. It can sense an atmosphere in a room in an instant. The brilliance of this is that it can work for a win-win. But, most people with a strong Harmony talent do not like conflict at all. In fact, you may try to avoid it at all cost. 
You need to manage the fact that you will be involve in conflict in life. The only way to avoid it, is to either hide somewhere, or to capitulate on all your values, beliefs or needs. Your Harmony has a very strong emotional effect on you. But this should be an empowering emotion, not a paralyzing one.  Where other talents (like Command, for instance) are energized by confrontation, your Harmony may find it detrimental in a way that it completely drains you emotionally.  The feeling is normal.  The effect it may have on you need not be a detriment if managed well.

How?

Conflict management is a skill that you need to learn.  Remember that the skill of conflict management does not only apply to those who want to avoid it, but also to those who over-react to it.  You can find plenty of books and articles on conflict management. (Read one I wrote in this blog here.)  There are also numerous courses you can attend to develop a skill for optimum conflict management.  You will learn that there are different styles of conflict management, some which will suit your Harmony perfectly. (Read what I wrote about these styles here).  
What you may not realize is that a well managed Harmony has the ability to engage in conflict in a manner which will give the advantage of outcome not only to you, but to others also.  A true win-win.  

Harmony contributes harmony.  It has a need for peace and fairness. Just remember that a Harmony talent which is over-used may actually hinder development and growth, in yourself and others. The Harmony talent is one of those which goes with strong Emotional Intelligence.  All talents need high EQ, but the Relational talents (like Harmony) thrives when it is supported by EQ.  Sometimes the over-use of Harmony causes you to actually have a detrimental effect on productivity, growth or development.  That is simply because harmony is not always the best environment where growth, development or productivity occurs best.  People grow outside of their comfort zone.  And mostly that means that they are "out of harmony".  And you will have to allow this to happen.

How?

Be conscious of the fact that some situations need NOT to be harmonious, but actually uncomfortable.  Manage your emotions in such a way that it allows this kind of situation.  Mostly it is simply a decision. If you see the outcome as positive and needed you will be more in control of this emotion.
Harmony is a natural emotional need with you. So it will always take conscious decisions to hold that emotion in check.  It is a "mind over emotion" action.
Remember that you cannot "switch off" a talent theme.  And you should never attempt to.  But, you can turn down the volume, or add some base, treble or rhythm to it.  All this is possible with conscious decisions and a desirable outcome.

Go create harmony!!


Dries Lombaard is the co-owner of Strategic Leadership Institute and NeuWorx, and has more than 7000 hours of Strengths Coaching experience over the last decade.  He is leading a vibrant and growing network of Strengths Coaches in Southern Africa, and works with corporate and multinational leadership and management teams and C-level leaders as a Strengths Coach and training facilitator.