Managing your Talents [32] - Harmony

By Dries Lombaard

According to Gallup, the essence of the talent theme of Harmony is the following:

You look for areas of agreement. In your view there is little to be gained from conflict and friction, so you seek to hold them to a minimum. When you know that the people around you hold differing views, you try to find the common ground. You try to steer

them away from confrontation and toward harmony. In fact, harmony is one of your guiding values. You can’t quite believe how much time is wasted by people trying to impose their views on others. Wouldn’t we all be more productive if we kept our opinions in check and instead looked for consensus and support? You believe we would, and you live by that belief. When others are sounding off about their goals, their claims, and their fervently held opinions, you hold your peace. When others strike out in a direction, you will willingly, in the service of harmony, modify your own objectives to merge with theirs (as long as their basic values do not clash with yours). When others start to argue about their pet theory or concept, you steer clear of the debate, preferring to talk about practical, down-to-earth matters on which you can all agree. In your view we are all in the same boat, and we need this boat to get where we are going. It is a good boat. There is no need to rock it just to show that you can.

But a talent like this on itself is quite meaningless unless you develop and manage it.   That is why we believe that "a well managed talent becomes a strength, but a mismanaged talent becomes a detriment".

How do you manage the talent of Harmony?

Your Harmony is very intuitive. It can sense an atmosphere in a room in an instant. The brilliance of this is that it can work for a win-win. But, most people with a strong Harmony talent do not like conflict at all. In fact, you may try to avoid it at all cost. 
You need to manage the fact that you will be involve in conflict in life. The only way to avoid it, is to either hide somewhere, or to capitulate on all your values, beliefs or needs. Your Harmony has a very strong emotional effect on you. But this should be an empowering emotion, not a paralyzing one.  Where other talents (like Command, for instance) are energized by confrontation, your Harmony may find it detrimental in a way that it completely drains you emotionally.  The feeling is normal.  The effect it may have on you need not be a detriment if managed well.

How?

Conflict management is a skill that you need to learn.  Remember that the skill of conflict management does not only apply to those who want to avoid it, but also to those who over-react to it.  You can find plenty of books and articles on conflict management. (Read one I wrote in this blog here.)  There are also numerous courses you can attend to develop a skill for optimum conflict management.  You will learn that there are different styles of conflict management, some which will suit your Harmony perfectly. (Read what I wrote about these styles here).  
What you may not realize is that a well managed Harmony has the ability to engage in conflict in a manner which will give the advantage of outcome not only to you, but to others also.  A true win-win.  

Harmony contributes harmony.  It has a need for peace and fairness. Just remember that a Harmony talent which is over-used may actually hinder development and growth, in yourself and others. The Harmony talent is one of those which goes with strong Emotional Intelligence.  All talents need high EQ, but the Relational talents (like Harmony) thrives when it is supported by EQ.  Sometimes the over-use of Harmony causes you to actually have a detrimental effect on productivity, growth or development.  That is simply because harmony is not always the best environment where growth, development or productivity occurs best.  People grow outside of their comfort zone.  And mostly that means that they are "out of harmony".  And you will have to allow this to happen.

How?

Be conscious of the fact that some situations need NOT to be harmonious, but actually uncomfortable.  Manage your emotions in such a way that it allows this kind of situation.  Mostly it is simply a decision. If you see the outcome as positive and needed you will be more in control of this emotion.
Harmony is a natural emotional need with you. So it will always take conscious decisions to hold that emotion in check.  It is a "mind over emotion" action.
Remember that you cannot "switch off" a talent theme.  And you should never attempt to.  But, you can turn down the volume, or add some base, treble or rhythm to it.  All this is possible with conscious decisions and a desirable outcome.

Go create harmony!!


Dries Lombaard is the co-owner of Strategic Leadership Institute and NeuWorx, and has more than 7000 hours of Strengths Coaching experience over the last decade.  He is leading a vibrant and growing network of Strengths Coaches in Southern Africa, and works with corporate and multinational leadership and management teams and C-level leaders as a Strengths Coach and training facilitator.  

Managing your Talents [31] - Empathy

By Dries Lombaard

According to Gallup, the essence of the talent theme of Empathy is the following:

"You can sense the emotions of those around you. You can feel what they are feeling as though their feelings are your own. Intuitively, you are able to see the world through their eyes and share their perspective. You do not necessarily agree with each person’s perspective. You do not necessarily feel pity for each person’s predicament — this would be sympathy, not Empathy. You do not necessarily condone the choices each person makes, but you do understand. This instinctive ability to understand is powerful. You hear the unvoiced questions. You anticipate the need. Where others grapple for words, you seem to find the right words and the right tone. You help people find the right phrases to express their feelings — to themselves as well as to others. You help them give voice to their emotional life. For all these reasons other people are drawn to you."

But a talent like this on itself is quite meaningless unless you develop and manage it. That is why we believe that "a well managed talent becomes a strength, but a mismanaged talent becomes a detriment".

How do you manage the talent of Empathy?

The talent of Empathy is very unique in the way it gives you a sense of emotions. It can be regarded as one of only a few "sensing" talent themes - giving you the ability to sense emotions intuitively.

This intuition of yours will create a sense of trust in most people when they encounter you.  They are aware of your respect for their emotions.  But, in the same way it can also be in a strange way "threatening" to some.  The fact that you are tuned in to the emotions around you, and intuitively sense it in people, also cause your behavior to be accurate when you respond to peoples emotions.  When people then try to hide their feelings - for whatever reason - and the see you reacting to their "hidden emotions", they may withdraw from you.  Do not take this personally.  You will want to manage the circumstance and manage your own emotions if this happens.

How?

Be aware of your intuitive sense, and therefor the fact that people may find it awkward or uncomfortable when you sense how they feel, and react to it. Remember that it is absolutely natural for you to be tuned in to emotions. The mere fact that you feel what others feel is a gift. Manage this gift by acquiring a sensitivity towards people when you pick up that they may feel uncomfortable in your presence. Do not talk about emotions or personal things - rather make small talk and set them at ease. The most important skill you should have is the ability to know when people opens the foot for you to enter into their emotional world, and when you  should not.  This is the essence of respect for boundaries. And this is a skill of emotional intelligence and maturity. Practice this, without being withdrawn from people as they might need you to step closer to their hearts. But make sure they are ready.

Do not mistake this beautiful talent theme as useless when it comes to leadership or to high performance environments. If well managed, this is exactly where your talent can make a huge difference!

People make the huge mistake to stereotype certain talent themes and box them within specific environments, to specific roles or within specific functions. With Empathy people may see it as a "soft" talent that cannot be assertive or lead with confidence. Nonsense. A well managed Empathy is exactly what people need in leadership. Especially within the corporate business world, leadership is misunderstood as emotionless drive.  Actually, what followers need is compassion, stability, trust and hope (Strengths Based Leadership, Tom Rath, Gallup Press). The Empathy talent is a perfect fit for these needs in followers.  But you should put it out there with decisiveness.

How?

Do not look down on your Empathy talent (or on those of others) as a "soft, push-over" type of talent.  That is a wrong assumption and actually the core of projection, labeling and judging.  A well managed Empathy is actually an extremely strong and stable talent theme.  You stand firm when most crumble under the weight of emotional pressure or emotional turmoil.  And, believe it or not, people and emotion goes together....
Celebrate your Empathy talent by embracing it as a strength. It makes you strong. It gives you an important advantage. It is an ability of intuition that is exactly what the world needs more of.  

Finally:  most people are very upset when Empathy is assessed as being low on their StrengthsFinder Full 34 report.  "But, I have empathy!" or "I am not a heartless person!" will be the feedback I hear.
Listen....we can all care.  We should care.  But empathy is not caring. Caring is sympathy.
Empathy is "Carrying".  If you carry the emotions and feelings with someone, in your thoughts, emotions and actions, then you have empathy.  And if you carry without even deciding to - then you have the talent of Empathy!

Lead with empathy. Live with empathy. It is a strength.

Dries Lombaard is the co-owner of Strategic Leadership Institute and NeuWorx, and has more than 7000 hours of Strengths Coaching experience over the last decade.  He is leading a vibrant and growing network of Strengths Coaches in Southern Africa, and works with corporate and multinational leadership and management teams and C-level leaders as a Strengths Coach and training facilitator.  

Managing your Talents [30] - Developer

By Dries Lombaard

According to Gallup, the essence of the talent theme of Developer is the following:

"You see the potential in others. Very often, in fact, potential is all you see. In your view no individual is fully formed. On the contrary, each individual is a work in progress, alive with possibilities. And you are drawn toward people for this very reason. When you interact with others, your goal is to help them experience success.  You look for ways to challenge them. You devise interesting experiences that can stretch them and help them grow. And all the while you are on the lookout for the signs of growth — a new behavior learned or modified, a slight improvement in a skill, a glimpse of excellence or of “flow” where previously there were only halting steps. For you these small increments — invisible to some — are clear signs of potential being realized. These signs of growth in others are your fuel. They bring you strength and satisfaction. Over time many will seek you out for help and encouragement because on some level they know that your helpfulness is both genuine and fulfilling to you.  Your patience in developing others is one of your strongest virtues."

But a talent like this on itself is quite meaningless unless you develop and manage it. That is why we believe that "a well managed talent becomes a strength, but a mismanaged talent becomes a detriment".

How do you manage the talent of Developer?

Your need and ability to patiently develop potential from something most people won't even recognize as potential is what makes you so special.  One of the strongest virtues that goes with this talent themes, is probably patience.  You have tons of it.  But, sometimes that could be to the detriment of the person you develop, if you do not manage it well. 
Patience is a virtue. When patience is applied in the right situation and environment, it achieves more than urgency ever will.  But patience could also "hijack" you.  I have often found that developers so loves the activities of developing people, that they want to make it last as long as possible. There may be a time when someone need to go to a next level of development and pick up speed, and you may not want to "lose" them. Be careful of this.  When it becomes about your need to develop more than the persons need to be developed, you are not contributing a well managed talent.

How?  

One of the best ways to make sure your Developer do not hijack you, is through a complimentary partnership.  And one of the best talents to partner with in this, is Maximizers.  The Maximizer talent is just as keen to develop potential....but mostly they lack your patience.  Where you patiently take someone from "zero to hero", they get energized by taking someone from "good to great".  Sometimes that is exactly the next level people need. Get next to Maximizers and get to understand them.  Then work with them.  They will love you for your patience, and you will love them for their speed.  (Read more about Maximizer here).

You need to develop others.  But one of your most important needs, that you may be ignoring at your own detriment, is your need to be developed yourself. 
You cannot give what you do not have.  Developers need to be developed - constantly.  Your talent is not only linked to the skill and knowledge which goes with development, but also with your own experience and journey in being developed.  Many Developers ignore this.  And that may cause your Developer talent to be depleted.  Manage this well.

How?

This may sound simple...because it is.  "Get developed".  You may even want to be maximized.  Make sure you surround yourself with developers, mentors and influencers who can invest in you and your talent.  This should be an intentional move as it won't simply happen. Reach out to those you believe can add value to your journey.  Remember that it energize them to develop you just as it does you to develop others.

Go develop - others and yourself.  Your ability and patience is precious to the world.


Dries Lombaard is the co-owner of Strategic Leadership Institute and NeuWorx, and has more than 7000 hours of Strengths Coaching experience over the last decade.  He is leading a vibrant and growing network of Strengths Coaches in Southern Africa, and works with corporate and multinational leadership and management teams and C-level leaders as a Strengths Coach and training facilitator.  

Managing your Talents [29] - Significance

By Dries Lombaard

According to Gallup, the essence of the talent theme of Significance is the following:

"You want to be very significant in the eyes of other people. In the truest sense of the word you want to be recognized. You want to be heard. You want to stand out. You want to be known. In particular, you want to be known and appreciated for the unique strengths you bring. You feel a need to be admired as credible, professional, and successful. Likewise, you want to associate with others who are credible, professional, and successful. And if they aren’t, you will push them to achieve until they are. Or you will move on. An independent spirit, you want your work to be a way of life rather than a job, and in that work you want to be given free rein, the leeway to do things your way. Your yearnings feel intense to you, and you honor those yearnings. And so your life is filled with goals, achievements, or qualifications that you crave. Whatever your focus — and each person is distinct — your Significance theme will keep pulling you upward, away from the mediocre toward the exceptional. It is the theme that keeps you reaching.

But a talent like this on itself is quite meaningless unless you develop and manage it.  That is why we believe that "a well managed talent becomes a strength, but a mismanaged talent becomes a detriment".

How do you manage the talent of Significance?

Significance is probably one of the most misunderstood talent themes of them all.  People who do not understand this talent can very easily project on it as a negative character trait. 
One of the main reasons for this is because Significance cannot function behind the scenes. It's essence in contribution lies in its visibility, influence and impact.  This is why some people may regard this talent as "attention seeking", always seeking out the limelight and needing the applause.  This is not necessarily the case at all.  When miss managed, then Significance will for sure come over as all of the above, with an arrogant edge to it. The difficulty is that this "importance" of the stage and the limelight is exactly where the strength of this talent resides. This is why you often find Significance with politicians and celebrities - they are built for the stage.  But, management is needed for sure....

How?

First off all, realize that you have natural presence.  You need not try to create it - people already sense it in you, if you are authentic.  Thus, keep back on "trying to be significant"...just be yourself. The moment you put more nervy into creating some image of significance in yourself, it will easily be seen as arrogance.  Trust your talent to flow naturally.  Do not force it.  Study those people who you regard as being significant - your mentors, heroes and idols, and watch hoe those who achieve most are most humble.  They are also themselves.  Learn from this.  Your Significance talent will take you to the absolute top of your game, if you manage it with humility and grace.

Your talent of Significance needs guidance and mentoring.  This is crucial to achieve your need to leave a legacy. 
Without significant people who invest in you, your Significance talent may not develop into its potential ever.  Make sure you rub shoulders with people you regard as significant - but make sure it is the right people for you!

How?

Your Significance is a drive towards a purpose....a legacy.  You need to figure out what this purpose of significance is to you specifically.  This may take some time on your life journey, but be intentional to find your purpose.  Then, seek out people and resources to support you towards that exact purpose.  Get the right mentors by being bold and asking them to mentor you.  Read books that aligns with your purpose.  Remember that your Significance could be drawn off course if you are influenced by the wrong people - wrong in the sense that they do not support your purpose.  Be very intentional about this!

Go out and be significant!  It will be your legacy.