20 October 2010

Stop Being so Nice...

If you have the theme of Harmony in your top 5 StrengthsFinder talent mix, you can identify with the fact that conflict is very difficult for you and that avoidance is usually the way you handle conflict.

But, steering clear of disagreements and leaving things unsaid creates unnecessary complexity and needless anxiety. To get better at confronting conflict constructively, follow these three steps:


1. Reflect. Ask yourself whether there are times you should've spoken up but held your tongue. Do you avoid certain types of conflicts? Is there a pattern?


2. Get feedback. Ask trusted friends and colleagues how they perceive your readiness to engage in constructive conflict. They might see patterns that are less obvious to you. Do you need to see the situation from the other person’s perspective?


3. Experiment. You don't have to change overnight. Try pushing back on a request or speaking up in a meeting and see how it goes. Preface your comment with an admission that you are working on getting better at conflict. This will help demonstrate your sincerity. If you have to confront one-on-one, is there someone else in your team that can assist you with the wording and confrontational style? The talent themes of Command and Empathy can assist you. Can you identify what the common ground is in this situation?




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