Managing Your Talents [21] - Connectedness

According to Gallup, the essence of the talent theme of Consistency is the following:

Things happen for a reason. You are sure of it. You are sure of it because in your soul you know that we are all connected. Yes, we are individuals, responsible for our own judgments and in possession of our own free will, but nonetheless we are part of something larger. Some may call it the collective unconscious. Others may label it spirit or life force. But whatever your word of choice, you gain confidence from knowing that we are not isolated from one another or from the earth and the life on it. This feeling of Connectedness implies certain responsibilities. If we are all part of a larger picture, then we must not harm others because we will be harming ourselves. We must not exploit because we will be exploiting ourselves. Your awareness of these responsibilities creates your value system. You are considerate, caring, and accepting. Certain of the unity of humankind, you are a bridge builder for people of different cultures. Sensitive to the invisible hand, you can give others comfort that there is a purpose beyond our humdrum lives. The exact articles of your faith will depend on your upbringing and your culture, but your faith is strong. It sustains you and your close friends in the face of life’s mysteries.

But a talent like this on itself is quite meaningless unless you develop and manage it. That is why we believe that "a well managed talent becomes a strength, but a mismanaged talent becomes a detriment".

How do you manage the talent of Connectedness?
 

You are an expert at seeing the big picture and the patterns within it. You understand connection and interaction. This is great, but it can also become a problem if not managed well. With Connectedness you know intuitively how different elements in any system connect together, impact on each other and relate. Your intuition is very finely developed and sometimes you just “know” the potential consequences of actions or circumstances. You love to connect the dots, drawing conclusions from seemingly unrelated facts or sensing information that is not obvious. You may have learned to play with combining concepts to produce very creative results and depending on your other talents may be very good at facilitating highly productive connections between people. You are a systems thinker and it is difficult for you to look at anything in isolation from that which surrounds it. This needs to be well-managed.

How?

You need to create boundaries within the systems which are so comfortable and familiar to you. It is very easy for someone who has not learned to manage it to become overwhelmed by the complexity of the systems in their world. Having Connectedness presents you with a lot of choices unless you find a way to limit them. You may be able to use your other talents to assist you with this or you must become master of the playing field, learning to identify and apply strict criteria for making choices which will limit the options. Your awareness of the interdependence of the variables in any system may also paralyze you with how often the answer to a question is, “It depends.” This makes it difficult for you to commit. Manage your imagination and your emotion to ensure that you are not allowing fear to master you. 

Connectedness as a talent needs to explore new avenues. You should actively feed this need.  Bear in mind that Connectedness is a “chameleon talent”. It is highly influenced by your other talents. If you enjoy learning, then Connectedness will feed you with a never-ending source of things to learn – with one thing inevitably leading to another and so on. If you are highly relational, then Connectedness will show up with a hunger to explore more about people and how to facilitate their interaction. If you are a planner and thinker then Connectedness will enable you to explore and consider all the variables and learning to organise them will make you highly effective. If you value spiritual development then Connectedness will cause you to explore connections between spiritual concepts and other elements of life.

How?

A critical skill for someone with Connectedness to learn is the ability to do safe fail experimentation. Try things – small things, often. See what works and what doesn’t. Build on what works, abandon what doesn’t. Another skill which may be very useful to you is the ability to network effectively. You innately see potential in inter-relationships and when you learn to connect people, great possibilities can be unleashed. Explore creativity techniques to enhance your ability to conceive really great ideas and then find others with whom to partner to make them a reality. Become a master of systems thinking. Learn about how different systems work and how to work well within them. Feed yourself with good information. Your highly-tuned intuition works with the information at its disposal and the better this information is, the more likely you are to make good decisions.

- by Janet du Preez, Executive Strengths Coach within the TalentMosaic Network.

Janet du Preez is a strategic maximiser; uniquely qualified with masters level studies in health sciences, psychology and business, to understand the psychological and practical systems which underlie behaviour and outcomes. Also an Africanmosaic trained strengths-performance consultant, she inspires and supports leaders who create great organisations where people choose to invest their best assets in a complex, changing competitive world. She is recognized as an experienced coach and masterful facilitator who utilizes creative techniques to craft enjoyable, interactive and participative transformational and collaborative thinking experiences for individuals, teams and organisations. She is the Managing Director of Tools of Greatness, the originator of the Dynamic Engagement Framework and of the TalentID processes and is on the academic board of the Worldsview Academy.

www.toolsofgreatness.co.za  


Important note when reading this: in this series, I simply focus on the specific talent in isolation. I do not take the crucial element of Talent Dynamics (two or more talent themes combining) into consideration. This is very important as any Coach should take that into consideration when coaching people in their talents. But you need to understand the challenges that the talent theme on its own might hold. Therefor the challenges in managing the talent as explained below might not be applicable to everyone, as the dynamics with some of their other talent themes might override the specific challenge and "make up for it". But, knowledge of the most common management challenges in every talent theme still is crucial in talent development and when turning the talent into a strength.  All information is my own, acquired by years of Strengths Coaching experience, and not verified or scientifically tested by Gallup. The definition at the beginning is the intellectual property of Gallup, and well researched.

Managing Your Talents [20] - Consistency

According to Gallup, the essence of the talent theme of Consistency is the following:

Balance is important to you. You are keenly aware of the need to treat people the same, no matter what their station in life, so you do not want to see the scales tipped too far in any one person’s favour. In your view this leads to selfishness and individualism. It leads to a world where some people gain an unfair advantage because of their connections or their background or their greasing of the wheels. This is truly offensive to you. You see yourself as a guardian against it. In direct contrast to this world of special favours, you believe that people function best in a consistent environment where the rules are clear and are applied to everyone equally. This is an environment where people know what is expected. It is predictable and even-handed. It is fair. Here each person has an even chance to show his or her worth.

But a talent like this on itself is quite meaningless unless you develop and manage it. That is why we believe that "a well managed talent becomes a strength, but a mismanaged talent becomes a detriment".

How do you manage the talent of Consistency?
  
This Strength of yours need things to be done according to the book. Knowing that will help you manage it.  Your talent of Consistency is acutely aware of the importance of policies, rules and procedures being applied to everyone.  This is how you view being fair - "everyone treated the same according to the rules".  You may even describe yourself as a "black-and-white" person who cannot think gray.  Cannot make exceptions.  Cannot look the other way.  This is part of your uniqueness - and often misunderstood by others as being strict, unbendable or even "cold and clinical". For them to understand you, you need first to understand your own thinking, feeling and behaving.  "According to the book". Thus, having clarity about the rules or policies is what helps this talent of yours function best at all times.  Uncertainty as to what needs to apply is something you cannot handle well.  You need certainty about the rules, and you create it.  But it needs to be managed well.

How?

Show people your human side also.  It is possible to do that without compromising your beliefs and integrity.  Make them understand that the consistent and fair execution of the rules and policies is what makes you tick.  You do not see anyone above the rules.  In that way, people can feel very safe with you....if the behave according to the rules!  People need to understand that you will not tolerate politics and favours for friends.  The sooner they understand that about you, the easier it will be for you to manage this talent in a practical way, as your energy can then be focused on what matters most, and not on trying to show people that you actually mean well.

You have an important strength. But there are others who see things differently. Accept and respect that fact!  You bring something to the table that is precious - factual fairness.  But, you need also to understand that there are other talents that brings a total different perspective to a situation than yours do - and that is not wrong!  For instance, the talent of Individualization have a very hard time to treat everyone the same according to the rules.  They see specific needs and context. Just as you bring a clinical clarity towards the consistent application of the rules, others bring a sense of circumstance that warrants a specific context - and even sometimes that one thing you find hard to accept:  the exception to the rule!   But, it is a reality that exception and special situations does exist.  And you need to manage your strength of Consistency not to feel devalued or even betrayed when such a situation occurs.

How?

Accept that the world is not simply black and white.  There are a lot of grey, and even colours everywhere.  In specific situations you need to stand your ground with the strength that your consistency provides.  But, you also need to know that backing off does not mean that you "look the other way" or sacrifice integrity.  It simply means that people cannot always be treated according to the rules, policies or procedures.  I know it hurts you to even read these words.  But, it is true.  Let other talents sometimes guide you to find another angle and approach to a specific situation.

Apply your talent of Consistency in the right roles and places, and it will thrive!!  Your  Consistency talent needs to be applied in a role or place where it is acknowledged to serve best.  If you can find this arena or role for it, you will be very energized and motivated to see it fly!  No talent must be suppressed.  Managing a talent does not mean undervaluing it.  It simply means you apply it where it fits best!

How?

Find that sweet spot in your job. career, parenting, relationships and life where your Consistency can be free to fly and be celebrated.  Maybe you already have that place or role.  That is great then!  But if not, you will feel the need to show the Consistent behaviour and emotions in contexts and situations where it does not always fit.  And that will frustrate you immensely!  So, the right spaces and places where your Consistency talent can thrive is crucial for it not to become a detriment to you and others.


Go on.  Let it fly!

- by Dries Lombaard, founder and owner of Africanmosaic and TALENTmosaic.

Important note when reading this: in this series, I simply focus on the specific talent in isolation. I do not take the crucial element of Talent Dynamics (two or more talent themes combining) into consideration. This is very important as any Coach should take that into consideration when coaching people in their talents. But you need to understand the challenges that the talent theme on its own might hold. Therefor the challenges in managing the talent as explained below might not be applicable to everyone, as the dynamics with some of their other talent themes might override the specific challenge and "make up for it". But, knowledge of the most common management challenges in every talent theme still is crucial in talent development and when turning the talent into a strength.  All information is my own, acquired by years of Strengths Coaching experience, and not verified or scientifically tested by Gallup. The definition at the beginning is the intellectual property of Gallup, and well researched.

Managing Your Talents [19] - Analytical

According to Gallup, the essence of the talent theme of Analytical is the following:

Your Analytical theme challenges other people: “Prove it. Show me why what you are claiming is true.” In the face of this kind of questioning some will find that their brilliant theories wither and die. For you, this is precisely the point. You do not necessarily want to destroy other people’s ideas, but you do insist that their theories be sound. You see yourself as objective and dispassionate. You like data because they are value free. They have no agenda. Armed with these data, you search for patterns and connections. You want to

understand how certain patterns affect one another. How do they combine? What is their outcome? Does this outcome fit with the theory being offered or the situation being confronted? These are your questions. You peel the layers back until, gradually, the root cause or causes are revealed. Others see you as logical and rigorous. Over time they will come to you in order to expose someone’s “wishful thinking” or “clumsy thinking” to your refining mind. It is hoped that your analysis is never delivered too harshly. Otherwise, others may avoid you when that “wishful thinking” is their own.

But a talent like this on itself is quite meaningless unless you develop and manage it. That is why we believe that "a well managed talent becomes a strength, but a mismanaged talent becomes a detriment".

How do you manage the talent of Analytical?
  

Managing the Analytical Talent means having a clear, sound and sober mind. As you will naturally delve deep and search wide for facts that relate to the issue at hand, it might become difficult to know when enough is enough. Analysis paralysis doesn’t help anyone and it won’t be a good marketing campaign for your Analytical skills either if it occurs often. Clutter in your mind is usually the biggest culprit that leads to analysis paralysis. It is therefore crucial that you schedule regular times to clear your mind.

HOW?

Mindful meditation, deep prayer, taking walks in nature, or sitting and writing down every thought that comes to mind are all effective ways to clear your mind. Practicing these disciplines will dramatically increase your mental capabilities as well as your overall health. Some people build these disciplines into their daily routines by washing dishes alone or taking long showers. Having clear values can also help to make decisions faster because behaviours and possible outcomes can be measured against these. Living a value-based life simplifies life and the choices we make in life.

Managing the Analytical Talent means letting others in on your thinking process. Your Analytical talent might cause you to take a bit longer than others to come to a conclusion. This is not because you are slow-minded, but rather that the amount of information and data that you take into account is multitudes more than the average person. It is therefore important to communicate to people when you are processing information. Furthermore, “thinking on your feet” might be a phrase that you don’t quite relate to because you need time to think things through before speaking. Realise that to think on your feet means you remain calm under the pressure, not that you will have all the answers.

HOW?

A simple “uhmmm” can show that you are thinking and that they should allow you time to think before expecting you to speak. Letting others know THAT you are thinking is great on its own, but to really win with this talent, you have to learn how to let others know WHAT you are thinking. People with Analytical as a talent that has built up the skill to communicate the detail of their thinking help others to give them the space they need to think. If someone can follow your thinking process you will also help them to see how you get to your conclusions, giving your conclusion the credibility it deserves. Sometimes, you might feel a bit too overwhelmed in the moment to be able to communicate clearly enough. In cases like this, create space for yourself by having the courage to put questions off until later. Don’t be afraid to say “I don’t know” or “I’ll come back to you on that” or “what do you think?”

Managing your analytical talent means learning how to communicate your analyses. Your analytical talent pulls you toward facts and truth. You can sense when you do not have the whole truth or when there are facts missing. Because of your Analytical talent, you seek facts and truth and you are pushed into asking the difficult questions that others aren’t willing to ask, but which are essential to bringing clarity, security and eventually success. Because you naturally see issues objectively and aren’t easily swayed by emotions, you have to be sensitive to how your messages come across to others if they are to fully reap the rewards that lie in your inputs.

HOW?

Hone this skill of being objective by learning how to listen actively and how to ask good questions. By doing this, the people you are listening to will feel that you care and it will also bring you closer to the truth which is what you ultimately seek. Seek out opportunities where it will be helpful to look at an issue from an emotional-neutral viewpoint. Not only will you help people make quality decisions, but you’ll love doing it.

A final word:

Your analytical talent naturally guides the development of your brain to become a high speed processing unit. Build on this by ensuring you keep your brain active. Remember that you get energized by analysing.

This is who you are.

Stop, drop, and analyse!

- by Stephan Swart, TalentMosaic Strengths Coach. 

• za.linkedin.com/in/stephanswart

Important note when reading this: in this series, I simply focus on the specific talent in isolation. I do not take the crucial element of Talent Dynamics (two or more talent themes combining) into consideration. This is very important as any Coach should take that into consideration when coaching people in their talents. But you need to understand the challenges that the talent theme on its own might hold. Therefor the challenges in managing the talent as explained below might not be applicable to everyone, as the dynamics with some of their other talent themes might override the specific challenge and "make up for it". But, knowledge of the most common management challenges in every talent theme still is crucial in talent development and when turning the talent into a strength.  All information is my own, acquired by years of Strengths Coaching experience, and not verified or scientifically tested by Gallup. The definition at the beginning is the intellectual property of Gallup, and well researched.

Conflict - Productive or Destructive?

I recently watched an episode of the reality series "Top Shot", where sharp shooters compete for a $100'000 prize as being the number one shot.
In between shooting competitions, the all stay together in a house.  Obviously there are some pretty interesting human interaction between them - being highly competitive in the way they are.  In one of these situations, there was a showdown between two contestants, Mike and Jake.  
The confrontation reached boiling point when the two macho men stood face to face, daring each other to throw the first punch.  Jake was especially intentional to intimidate Mike to throw a punch at him, which will lead to immediate elimination from the contest. The anger and aggression on Mikes face was clearly visible.  The veins in his neck belted, and with clenched fists and gritting teeth he looked as if he was going to drop Jake with a tremendous blow.

Then something amazing happened. Suddenly Mike said in a soft voice: "Jake, I am not going to fight you."  Jake went on to lash out at him, calling him names and swearing at him in his face. Then suddenly Mike dropped his shoulders visibly, opened his fists and relaxed his muscles.  It was so intentional you could clearly see the conscious self control in his actions. He calmly smiled at Jake, turned and walked away, with Jake fuming and shouting further insults at him.

It was the best example of self control that I have ever seen. It was intentional, conscious and deliberate. It was control that you could see flowing from a mindful decision towards his whole body.  Although Jake (the weaker one in terms of emotional intelligence and self control) viewed Mike as weak and wimpy for backing down, everybody knew that Mike won the confrontation. He won it with self control.

Conflict is a given where two or more human beings interact.  It is simply a matter of time before the sparks fly. Water colliding with water makes a huge splash, wind blowing against wind creates tornado's, one rock cracks another and iron sharpens iron. No matter what you are made of, conflict is never gentle, quiet or smooth. 

Is it productive?  Now that is not a given.  That is a choice.  It is not a matter of pure luck, it is a matter of how you approach it, engage with it and handle it, which makes conflict either productive or destructive.

Conflict is not a monster.

The same can be said of conflict than is said of fire:  it makes a a cruel master, but an effective slave.  Conflict only dominates you if you allow it to. If you keep it within boundaries, and know when to give it fuel and when to starve it, conflict can be one of your most valuable companions.
True - just like fire, conflict is not always started or controlled by yourself.  But, you always have the choice how you are going to react to it. Are you going to use it to your advantage, or allow it to consume you, your team or your organization. because it has the ability to do either.  You decide if you engage the fire of conflict, or if you flee from it.

Conflict is both contextual, and personal.

Conflict is always born from the same soil:  a "need". Conflict starts where a need...or many needs, are not met.  And we all have needs of some sort. Some of these needs are very basic, even up to a point of survival, and we will literally fight for those needs.  Other needs are based on priority and value, and we constantly and daily consider these priorities against the energy, time and effort it may take to engage in conflict for the sake of the need.
Thus, conflict is personal. And contextual.  The skill you need is to distinguish between the two, and respond accordingly.  If you never contextualize conflict, you cannot add value through participating in it.  If you never take it personally, you won't grow.

Your emotional reaction to conflict is normal - but manageable.

We are wired to react with emotion towards conflict.  The way we react is something we need to control.  Some people are energised by conflict in various ways.  Others again seek to avoid conflict at all cost, as they experience negative emotions with it. Understanding your own natural emotional reaction towards conflict is key towards personal functionality in all walks of life.
Our brains are naturally created to be on the constant lookout for danger and confrontation.  We instinctively see or sense situations of danger that may lead to some kind of conflict.  Our brains then trigger the release of certain chemicals like adrenaline that enable our survival within the emerging danger.  We call this the "fight or flight" response.  In normal situations this response is a reaction we cannot be without.  But different circumstances, like stress to name one, can cause over reaction within either the fight or the flight response.  This is also why we have to train our brain to be able to distinguish between the contextual and personal elements involved in situations.  Conflict can thus be either productive or destructive. You can manage your reactions.  Like any skill, it takes effort and time to master, but you need to start with a conscious awareness of what happens beneath and above the surface in situations of conflict.

Strengths Based Conflict Management

Each one of us is unique in more ways than we can ever imagine possible.  We have our own unique combination of strengths (activities that strengthens us) and weaknesses (activities that drains us). Our personal patterns of thinking, feeling and behaving is one of a kind over all mankind.  Therefor only one person can be the master of your personal skills and patterns - you.
When we try to manage conflict better or more productively than we do, it is important that we understand how our talents (recurring patterns of though, emotions and behaviour) affects our environment. Self awareness on many fields is the one important first step towards the skills of conflict management.


- by Dries Lombaard, Director: Strategic Engagement, The Strengths Institute.