15 Behaviours of Emotionally Intelligent People

This article originally appeared in Inc.com 

When emotional intelligence (EQ) first appeared to the masses, it served as the missing link in a peculiar finding: people with average IQs outperform those with the highest IQs 70 percent of the time. This anomaly threw a massive wrench into the broadly held assumption that IQ was the sole source of success.

Decades of research now point to emotional intelligence as being the critical factor that sets star performers apart from the rest of the pack. The connection is so strong that 90 percent of top performers have high emotional intelligence.

Emotional intelligence is the “something” in each of us that is a bit intangible. It affects how we manage behavior, navigate social complexities, and make personal decisions to achieve positive results.

Despite the significance of EQ, its intangible nature makes it difficult to measure and to know what to do to improve it if you’re lacking. You can always take a scientifically validated test, such as the one that comes with the Emotional Intelligence 2.0 book, but unfortunately, most such tests aren’t free. So, I’ve analyzed the data from the million-plus people TalentSmart has tested in order to identify the behaviors that are the hallmarks of a high EQ. What follows are sure signs that you have a high EQ.

1. You have a robust emotional vocabularyAll people experience emotions, but it is a select few who can accurately identify them as they occur. Our research shows that only 36 percent of people can do this, which is problematic because unlabeled emotions often go misunderstood, which leads to irrational choices and counterproductive actions.

People with high EQs master their emotions because they understand them, and they use an extensive vocabulary of feelings to do so. While many people might describe themselves as simply feeling “bad,” emotionally intelligent people can pinpoint whether they feel “irritable,” “frustrated,” “downtrodden,” or “anxious.” The more specific your word choice, the better insight you have into exactly how you are feeling, what caused it, and what you should do about it.

2. You’re curious about peopleIt doesn’t matter if they’re introverted or extroverted, emotionally intelligent people are curious about everyone around them. This curiosity is the product of empathy, one of the most significant gateways to a high EQ. The more you care about other people and what they’re going through, the more curiosity you’re going to have about them.

3. You embrace changeEmotionally intelligent people are flexible and are constantly adapting. They know that fear of change is paralyzing and a major threat to their success and happiness. They look for change that is lurking just around the corner, and they form a plan of action should these changes occur.

4. You know your strengths and weaknessesEmotionally intelligent people don’t just understand emotions; they know what they’re good at and what they’re terrible at. They also know who pushes their buttons and the environments (both situations and people) that enable them to succeed. Having a high EQ means you know your strengths and how to lean into and use them to your full advantage while keeping your weaknesses from holding you back.

5. You’re a good judge of characterMuch of emotional intelligence comes down to social awareness; the ability to read other people, know what they’re about, and understand what they’re going through. Over time, this skill makes you an exceptional judge of character. People are no mystery to you. You know what they’re all about and understand their motivations, even those that lie hidden beneath the surface.

Inc.com: Why You Need Emotional Intelligence to Succeed

6. You are difficult to offendIf you have a firm grasp of who you are, it’s difficult for someone to say or do something that gets your goat. Emotionally intelligent people are self-confident and open-minded, which creates a pretty thick skin. You may even poke fun at yourself or let other people make jokes about you because you are able to mentally draw the line between humor and degradation.

7. You know how to say no (to yourself and others)Emotional intelligence means knowing how to exert self-control. You delay gratification and avoid impulsive action. Research conducted at the University of California, San Francisco, shows that the more difficulty that you have saying no, the more likely you are to experience stress, burnout, and even depression. Saying no is a major self-control challenge for many people, but “No” is a powerful word that you should unafraid to wield. When it’s time to say no, emotionally intelligent people avoid phrases such as “I don’t think I can” or “I’m not certain.” Saying no to a new commitment honors your existing commitments and gives you the opportunity to successfully fulfill them.

8. You let go of mistakesEmotionally intelligent people distance themselves from their mistakes, but do so without forgetting them. By keeping their mistakes at a safe distance, yet still handy enough to refer to, they are able to adapt and adjust for future success. It takes refined self-awareness to walk this tightrope between dwelling and remembering. Dwelling too long on your mistakes makes you anxious and gun shy, while forgetting about them completely makes you bound to repeat them. The key to balance lies in your ability to transform failures into nuggets of improvement. This creates the tendency to get right back up every time you fall down.

9. You give and expect nothing in returnWhen someone gives you something spontaneously, without expecting anything in return, this leaves a powerful impression. For example, you might have an interesting conversation with someone about a book, and when you see them again a month later, you show up with the book in hand. Emotionally intelligent people build strong relationships because they are constantly thinking about others.

10. You don’t hold grudgesThe negative emotions that come with holding onto a grudge are actually a stress response. Just thinking about the event sends your body into fight-or-flight mode, a survival mechanism that forces you to stand up and fight or run for the hills when faced with a threat. When the threat is imminent, this reaction is essential to your survival, but when the threat is ancient history, holding onto that stress wreaks havoc on your body and can have devastating health consequences over time. In fact, researchers at Emory University have shown that holding onto stress contributes to high blood pressure and heart disease. Holding onto a grudge means you’re holding onto stress, and emotionally intelligent people know to avoid this at all costs. Letting go of a grudge not only makes you feel better now but can also improve your health.

Inc.com: Why You Should Hire for Emotional Intelligence

11. You neutralize toxic peopleDealing with difficult people is frustrating and exhausting for most. But high-EQ individuals control their interactions with toxic people by keeping their feelings in check. When they need to confront a toxic person, they approach the situation rationally. They identify their own emotions and don’t allow anger or frustration to fuel the chaos. They also consider the difficult person’s standpoint and are able to find solutions and common ground. Even when things completely derail, emotionally intelligent people are able to take the toxic person with a grain of salt to avoid letting him or her bring them down.

12. You don’t seek perfectionEmotionally intelligent people won’t set perfection as their target because they know that it doesn’t exist. Human beings, by our very nature, are fallible. When perfection is your goal, you’re always left with a nagging sense of failure that makes you want to give up or reduce your effort. You end up spending time lamenting what you failed to accomplish and should have done differently instead of moving forward, excited about what you’ve achieved and what you will accomplish in the future.

13. You appreciate what you haveTaking time to contemplate what you’re grateful for isn’t merely the right thing to do; it also improves your mood by reducing the stress hormone cortisol (in some cases by 23 percent). Research conducted at the University of California, Davis, found that people who work daily to cultivate an attitude of gratitude experience improved mood, energy, and physical well-being. It’s likely that lower levels of cortisol play a major role in this.

14. You disconnectTaking regular time off the grid is a sign of a high EQ because it helps you to keep your stress under control and to live in the moment. When you make yourself available to your work 24/7, you expose yourself to a constant barrage of stressors. Forcing yourself offline and even–gulp!–turning off your phone gives your body and mind a break. Studies have shown that something as simple as an email break can lower stress levels. Technology enables constant communication and the expectation that you should be available 24/7. It is extremely difficult to enjoy a stress-free moment outside of work when an email with the power to bring your thinking (read: stressing) back to work can drop onto your phone at any moment.

15. You limit your caffeine intakeDrinking excessive amounts of caffeine triggers the release of adrenaline, which is the primary source of a fight-or-flight response. The fight-or-flight mechanism sidesteps rational thinking in favor of a faster response to ensure survival. This is great when a bear is chasing you, but not so great when you’re responding to a curt email. When caffeine puts your brain and body into this hyper-aroused state of stress, your emotions overrun your behavior. Caffeine’s long half-life ensures you stay this way as it takes its sweet time working its way out of your body. High-EQ individuals know that caffeine is trouble, and they don’t let it get the better of them.

Inc.com: 5 Aspects of Emotional Intelligence Required for Effective Leadership

16. You get enough sleepIt’s difficult to overstate the importance of sleep to increasing your emotional intelligence and managing your stress levels. When you sleep, your brain literally recharges, shuffling through the day’s memories and storing or discarding them (which causes dreams) so that you wake up alert and clearheaded. High-EQ individuals know that their self-control, attention, and memory are all reduced when they don’t get enough–or the right kind–of sleep. So, they make sleep a top priority.

17. You stop negative self-talk in its tracksThe more you ruminate on negative thoughts, the more power you give them. Most of our negative thoughts are just that–thoughts, not facts. When it feels like something always or never happens, this is just your brain’s natural tendency to perceive threats (inflating the frequency or severity of an event). Emotionally intelligent people separate their thoughts from the facts in order to escape the cycle of negativity and move toward a positive, new outlook.

18. You won’t let anyone limit your joyWhen your sense of pleasure and satisfaction are derived from the opinions of other people, you are no longer the master of your own happiness. When emotionally intelligent people feel good about something they’ve done, they won’t let anyone’s opinions or snide remarks take that away from them. While it’s impossible to turn off your reactions to what others think, you don’t have to compare yourself to others, and you can always take people’s opinions with a grain of salt. That way, no matter what other people are thinking or doing, your self-worth comes from within.

This article originally appeared on Inc.com

Employee Engagement—is it in Danger of Becoming Endangered? {Guest Article}

By DeAnna Murphy

Rodd Wagner, noted author of Gallup’s best-selling book about the Q12, indicated in a recent Forbes Magazine article that “the age of employee engagement may be nearing its end.[1]”  He is not the only one suggesting that something in the employee engagement equation is not working, given today’s conditions. 

Cy Wakeman, a New York Times best-selling author and global thought leader, also suggests that it’s time to leave behind the old approach to engagement, and find a new way of thinking about this subject.[2]  She indicates that the present-day entitlement mindset is interfering, among other things, with employee engagement.

You don’t have to look very hard to see the trend that these thought leaders are pointing to.  Global engagement has remained mostly flat and unchanging for the better part of the last decade, according to a recent Gallup report.[3]  In fact, Gallup’s most recent worldwide report showed that the percentage of actively engaged employees (13%) nearly matched the 2005 by Towers Perrin Global Workforce Survey involving 85,000 employees, which found only 14% of all employees were actively engaged in their work[4].

Stephen Covey was fond of saying, “Nothing fails like success.”  Back in the 90s, when the term ‘employee engagement’ was coined and became popular, it was based on the mindset and paradigms of that time.  The formula for “success” in achieving employee engagement was based on the then-current values and way of doing business.

As you can see, things have changed:

Traditional Factors	Today’s Factors
Stable organizational environment Uniformity Life-time employment Individual work Horizontal structure External control and supervision Dependence on the organization Detailed job description Fixed schedules and patterns Physical demands Experience Working hard	Continuous change Diversity Precarious employment Teamwork Vertical structure Self-control and self-management Own responsibility and accountability Job crafting Boundarylessness (time and place) Mental and emotional demands Continuous learning Working smart

An employee engagement model based on external control and supervision, and high levels of dependence on the organization will not work in today’s market. With the number of Baby Boomers retiring, and the increase in Millennials filling the roles of previous Baby Boomers, the mindset has completely shifted.  The need for autonomy, and for self-control and self-management has replaced the old way of thinking.

Trying to continue to apply yesterday’s success formula to today’s conditions is the surest way of ensuring that employee engagement becomes increasingly critically endangered.

[1] Rodd Wagner, “The End of ‘Employee Engagement’?” Forbes. May 11, 2015. http://www.forbes.com/sites/roddwagner/2015/05/11/the-end-of-employee-engagement/3/

[2] Cy Wakemen. “It’s Time to Re-Think Employee Engagement.” Forbes. Jan. 14. 2013. http://www.forbes.com/sites/cywakeman/2013/01/14/its-time-to-rethink-employee-engagement/

[3] Amy Adkins. U.S. Employee Engagement Unmoved at 31.9%. Gallup Management Journal. July 9, 2015.

[4] Gerhard H. Seijts and Dan Crim.  “What Engages Employees the Most—or the 10 Cs of Employee Engagement.” Ivey Business Journal. March/April 2006. http://www.ifcaonline.com/wordpress2/wp-content/uploads/2013/10/Ten-Cs-of-Employee-Engagement.pdf The drivers of employee engagement. IES Report 408. Brighton: Institute of Employment Studies. 2004.

[5] Schaufeli, W.B. (2013). What is engagement? In C. Truss, K. Alfes, R. Delbridge, A. Shantz, and E. Soane (Eds.), Employee Engagement in Theory and Practice. London: Routledge.

Author: DeAnna Murphy

DeAnna Murphy has over 7,000 hours coaching and facilitating experiential learning and leadership development programs – and is the founder and president of Strengths Strategy Inc., the leading strengths application organization in the world. She is the author of soon-to-be-released Unlocking Strengths—A New Approach to Empowering Performance, Energy, and Relationships.

It's Time to Rethink Employee Engagement [Guest Article}

By Cy Wakeman - author of Reality-Based Leadership and The Reality-Based Rules of the Workplace
www.realitybasedleadership.com

As leaders, why do we spend so much time trying to fix our employees’ circumstances? If we’re listening to conventional management wisdom, we probably believe (or hope) that a stress-free, obstacle-free working environment will magically turn everyone into happy, productive employees.

That’s why we distribute employee engagement surveys – to find out how we can create the perfect workplace. You know the place: where processes run smoothly, no one ever gets frustrated and we get to work with our BFFs. So we hand out the surveys, compile the responses, create action plans, implement the suggestions, and are rewarded with new levels of productivity. Right?

Wrong. Here’s the problem. Traditional employee satisfaction surveys make three assumptions that just don’t hold water.

Wrong assumption #1: Every employee response is equally important.

Wrong assumption #2: Every employee opinion is credible.

Wrong assumption #3: Engagement alone drives results.

These assumptions are artifacts of the old employee engagement approach – the one that strives to create a magical workplace where there are no challenges to overcome and everyone is happy. It is time we admit it –  this just isn’t working.

Let’s put a stake in the ground and change the way we approach employee engagement, starting with these five practices.

Don’t treat every opinion the same. Listen to what your top performers tell you. They’ve proved their value and earned their credibility, so go ahead: play favorites. Spend less energy on the demands and complaints of your worst employees? (You know the ones – resistant, hard to please, full of excuses.

Insist on personal accountability. Allow employees to see themselves as architects of their own circumstances, not victims. Challenge them to take on more responsibility, and hold them accountable for the results. By replacing a sense of entitlement with a sense of empowerment, you make them bulletproof – capable of handling anything that comes along. Note: this only works if they know you care about their growth and development.

Employ quid pro quo. Employees have gotten into the habit of making requests. Maybe they want flex hours or a bigger office or a free lunch every Wednesday. You, as a manager, also need to get in the habit of making requests. In response to the next employee who makes a request, turn the tables and ask, “What are you willing to do to get that?”

Foster a “Yes” culture. Companies are not democracies. We do not vote on decisions. There are people who get paid to make decisions and people who get paid to implement those decisions. Buy-in is not optional. Once a decision has been made, employees should use their expertise to manage the risks and make it work.

Stop trying to create a perfect workplace. There will always be change, conflict, challenges, disagreements, discomfort and frustration in the workplace. And that’s good news! As it turns out, humans can’t be happy and engaged without struggle and strife. Without obstacles and mistakes, we never feel a sense of accomplishment or grow on a personal or professional level. So, instead of removing all these healthy hurdles for your employees, empower them to make the leap. It’s better for them and for the company.

If you must conduct an engagement survey, try one that factors in a certain level of accountability.  Don’t just take the word of the vast majority – many of whom work to collect a paycheck not to add value.

Why you should be able to play ALL of your Talent Themes - not only to your top 5 Strengths

by Dries Lombaard - Executive Coach: Strategic leadership Institute

Before you make the assumption that I have shifted my view away from a "strengths focus", let me assure you it is not the case.  We absolutely will always have most sustainable energy and best results if we play towards our natural talent needs and energy.  I am being prompted for some time now to write something to bring another perspective on the "Strengths Stampede" as some refer to it, especially when it comes to unlocking of your Top 5 Strengths Report from the brilliant Clifton StrengthsFinder online assessment.  In my view, the Top 5 StrengthsFinder report should be viewed merely as the cover page of a menu. Not only have you not seen all on offer - you haven't tasted anything yet!

When I say we should understand how to play to ALL of our talent themes, I refer to the fact that we are confronted regularly in life with situations where we are forced out of our rhythm and natural energy created by our natural Strengths.   If that happens, we cannot stop working, living or playing.  We need to function as best we can.

If we view the All 34 StrengthsFinder Report as generated by Gallup, we clearly see that our strongest energy and need lies towards the top of the sequence list (first 10-12 themes), and our strongest resistance, and draining effect, lies towards the bottom of the list (last 5 - 8 themes). Unfortunately these are not revealed in the Top 5 Report - from there its immense limitations.

We should always push towards our strongest themes....and we should always try and avoid our weakest ones.

Let me share a metaphor that I use a lot to explain to people how to interpret the sequence of all the 34 StrengthsFinder themes.  I find the metaphor of the game of golf works extremely well to explain the dynamic of our 34 talent themes in action.  Even if you haven't played a single shot of golf in your life, everyone is familiar with the most basic practices of the game - and the most basic layout of a golf course - being the fairway, the putting green, the rough, the bunkers and areas that are "out-of-bounds".

Playing your best game - stay on the fairway

Everyone loves the look of a beautiful fairway.  The gentle slopes, the green grass - cut neat and short, the clear view towards the putting green.  Playing on a fairway is why most people love the game of golf.  You can drive the ball with gracious power and see it fly through the blue sky, bouncing....rolling....stopping clearly visible a few hundred yards down the course.

A nice brisk walk towards your ball, aligning with the direction of the flag, and with a lower number club you graciously lift the ball with a perfect loop towards the green.  Yeah!  That's what the game is all about!

You can view your Top sequence of talent themes as your personal "fairway".  Generally it will be your top ten to twelve themes - maybe a few less, maybe a few more.  How many themes there are making up your fairway is less important than your understanding of it.  You should know the bends, the slopes, the challenges and the flow of your fairway.

And, as any golfer will tell you, you need to try and stay on the fairway.  That is actually the whole point of the game. Play the fairway towards the green, then put the ball into the hole.

Sounds easy, right?  Definitely easier said than done.  That is exactly the joy and challenge of trying to master the game!  The point is, with your talents, you should play on your fairway. Each one of us has our own very unique fairway, and that is where our game will excel most and where we will become the best we can be - while enjoying the game!
And of course we do not have the absolute luxury to play on our own fairway 100% of the time. Sometimes we will be part of a group or team that will play a course which are new and foreign to us.  Do we pack up and go home because of this?  No of course not.  It simply means that the game will be more challenging to us, and we will have to rely a lot more on our skills and tools (clubs) than on our natural game.  But we can still have a great game, no doubt.

Leaders can adapt their game

The famous South African golfer, Gary Player, once remarked (after a journalist called a shot of his a "lucky shot"):  "Yea, the more you practice, the luckier you get."
The more we play towards out natural talents, the more flexible we also become to adapt our game towards challenges like the weather, obstacles or unknown courses.  In leadership or management, this is a crucial skill and ability to develop. You simply do not have the luxury to lead or manage people and insist on playing your own fairway all the time.  Your success as a leader will be directly tied to your ability to let your followers play their natural game on their natural fairway most of the time - as long as the score card counts towards the favour of the team.

Playing from the rough

It is somewhat unheard of that a golfer will play through 18 holes without once landing up in the rough.  And of course this is no shame or tragedy - it's simply part of the game.  Frustrating, yes. But when it happens we simply adapt in order to play further.
The analogy here is that whenever we have to "tap into" our supporting or lessor talents (usually numbers 12 or 15 down to about numbers 25 or 28), we find ourselves "in the rough".  This is where, just like in golf, we are in a situation that requires more from as and takes us out of our comfort zone or "natural game".  It is regarded as simply a circumstance that is part of the game and we should deal with it best we can.

Most helpful in these situations are the tools and skill we can draw from. Just like we have a golf bag full of clubs, each for a different shot, we can draw on resources and tools when we find ourselves in the "rough" with our talents.  (Keep in mind that one of the best resources there is, is another person who finds your "rough" similar to his or her "fairway").
Of course practice makes perfect no matter where you play from. It is best to spend most time practicing your fairway shots - after all, precision with those shots will keep you on the fairway.

Here is the most important rule to remember when you find yourself off the fairway and in the rough. "When in the rough, always play back to the fairway."  As simple as that.  Sometimes a very short chip-shot will be enough to have you back in the clear, and the damage done will be minimal.  Taking the risk to use force and drive through the bushes or branches towards the pin may very well end up having you in a much worse position than you were in.

The principle from this analogy:  you can, and should tap into your supporting talents, when ever necessary to do so.  You have a lot more than your dominant 10 or 12 talents at your disposal!  It only takes a decision to play a different, and a bit more uncomfortable shot. With the right tools and some practice this may even become quite easy to do. This said: it is still not the same as playing your fairway.

Those irritating bunkers...or being "out of bounds"

If ever you've played a round of two of golf you will know what this means. That sinking feeling when you see your ball disappear into a sand bunker, or, even worse, into a pool of water.  This is basically what everyone avoid on the golf course.  Often bunkers or pools of water are also strategically placed near the putting greens where it can easily be a trap you find yourself in.
When it come to your StrengthsFinder talent themes, this analogy refer to your so called "Non Patterns. Those are usually the last 5 or 8 talents listed on your Full 34 Sequence Report.

Just like with a bunker on the golf course, we instinctively will try to avoid these themes.  We resist them just as we resist bunkers or water on the golf course.  And, when we do find ourselves within this situation, it can be extremely tricky to get out of it.  When "out of bounds" like a ball in water, we are penalised with an extra shot against our name.
And still, it is part of the game and part of the challenge.  It will be very immature to pack up your clubs and go home the first time you hit a bunker.  You cannot avoid the obstacles - and in the same way you cannot avoid the draining effect of your Non Patterns being in play in life or work. It is a reality.

Again, there are specialised tools to get us out of such situations. You should rather not play without your sand-wedge as part of your kit. Practicing bunker shots will also be wise - as long as you do not spend most of your time practicing those shots, as a far better strategy will always be to avoid the bunkers. Nobody aim towards a bunker or towards water.

Similarly, we naturally will not aim towards our weakest themes. We will naturally resist it. But, in life and work, we cannot avoid it either. At times, we will have to play from a bunker, or even be penalised for a shot being "out of bounds".  It is part of reality.  Remember: playing a great bunker shot is not impossible - it's just not sustainable.

Playing the (real) Strengths game

Playing towards your Strengths means you will be confronted with all 34 of the talent theme patterns in some way.  Therefor, the revealing of only your Top 5 talent theme Report is in my view similar to playing at a driving range only, and boasting that you play golf.  Nice, clear and open grass in front of you. No obstacles. The only challenge being to find the sweet spot of your club.

You only really start understanding your talents, and developing your strengths, once you get out on the course, and experience the challenge of all the themes within you being challenged at any given time.

In the same way, if you are under the impression that knowing your Top 5 Themes only will be sufficient in taking on the challenges at life and work, you unfortunately will never experience what the real game is about.  Life is not only about your strongest few strengths.  It is about all your strengths, about tapping into supporting talents with skill, and about knowing exactly where the bunkers and water are so you can avoid it.

If I want to teach you how to hold a golf club and the basics of the game, I will start at the driving range.  I will never sell that to you as being golf though.

And most of all, reading every book about golf will help your understanding of it.  If you want to really improve your skills and game, you will need at least some coaching.

Finally: play towards the flag

If you play a driving range, you play for distance and practice.  If you play the course, you play towards the flag.

You should aim your natural talents - formed into strengths through added knowledge, skill and experience - at the flag which indicates your exact target.
The flags of the pin is not always visible from the base of the tee-off, but your fairway will indicate the direction you should play.

Having no direction you play towards, is merely practicing.  There is a time and a place for that, but be careful to not become the master of the practice shot, while the joy and achievement of the real game escapes you.


Oh, yes, just in case you don't know it, golf is about having fun.  Yep, it can be played professionally but even those pro's will tell you that if the fun is out of it, there is little motivation left.
If playing towards your strengths is not fun, you are missing the fairway somewhere. The nature of your talents are energy and need, and that per definition will be satisfying and an enjoyment to experience.

Dries Lombaard is the co-owner of Strategic Leadership Institute and NeuWorx, and has more than 7000 hours of Strengths Coaching experience over the last decade.  He is leading a vibrant and growing network of Strengths Coaches in Southern Africa, and works with corporate and multinational leadership and management teams and C-level leaders as a Strengths Coach and training facilitator.  

Talent is so obvious, it hides in plain sight

by Dries Lombaard; Strategic Leadership Institute

talent

ˈtalənt/

noun

1. 1.

   natural aptitude or skill.

   "he possesses more talent than any other player"

   synonyms:

   flair, aptitude, facility, gift, knack, technique, touch, bent, ability,expertise, capacity, power, faculty; More
2. 2.

   a former weight and unit of currency, used especially by the ancient Romans and Greeks.

   "a mighty steed bought from a Thessalian merchant for thirteen talents"

There are different perspectives of the term "talent".  The most common association of the word will always be to link it to "skill".  And I suppose, within some contexts, this may be accurate.  Generally what we perceive and observe as performance, and then call "talent", is actually skill....(mostly fuelled by talent).

From my perspective, talent is not the same as skill at all.  It is actually very different. (For more on the difference, read this blogpost).

Let me drill through the clutter and make the term "talent" as understandable and practical as possible.  In my experience through coaching people in their natural talent, it can be condensed to two words:

Energy, and Need. 

• Sustainable Energy

However you may define natural talent, it will always be a source of energy to you.  This energy tend to manifest in one or more of three areas:  emotional energy, physical energy and / or intellectual energy. Actually, it is more than mere energy.  It is sustainable energy.  Energy that you cannot ignore, avoid or get away from.  Energy that truly defines you.  (Some people may define this energy with the word "passion", but for me, passion is a broader concept than talent. Passion is your yearning, your desire, your lasting interest.) 

This energy obviously manifest mostly through specific activities.  And it is in the actual doing of the activities that you express your skill (or sometimes, lack of it). 

The ability to define your sustainable energy is crucial, as it gives it identity and you thus get a grasp on it in order to celebrate it for the unique talent that it is.  The moment you give expression in language and understanding to the different talents, something happens.  It is as if you truly own it then, simply because you can accurately name it for what it is. 

This is where people experience the research from Gallup so useful in this field, and why the Clifton StrengthsFinder assessment is such a fantastic tool - defining 34 themes of talent.  StrengthsFinder accurately assess your talent energy, and then gives it names, ranked in order of importance according to your unique response to the 178 questions asked in the assessment.  True, some of the words used to describe the talent theme may be a bit confusing at first, but once you understand the true meaning behind the chosen term in context, it is always an empowering and even liberating experience to have a language to express your combination of sustainable energy to yourself and to others.

(If you know StrengthsFinder, think about someone having "Arranger Energy", "Ideation Energy", "Empathy Energy" or "Significance Energy".  Simply connecting the CSF terms with the word "energy" opens up a new understanding - especially if you coach people using StrengthsFinder as a baseline tool.)

• Unrelenting Need

A talent is a need. An unrelenting, lasting need for specific expression and specific stimulation. My experience in this field taught me that understanding talent as a need, even more than an energy, leads to the most important paradigm shifts within peoples discovery of their own brilliance and uniqueness.  In the same way that talents are energy in thought, emotional or behavioural expression, the different energies (talents) are constantly yearning to be fed. Talents have needs. Specific needs, and generic needs. These needs they have in order to function…to survive…to contribute.  If the “needs” are not met, the Talent will go dormant or stagnate.

Talent contribution is directly linked towards specific talent needs, and it is these needs that need to be managed well in order for the energy to flow best - and the talent to become a strength. 

Some needs are generic to all talents themes, like the need for affirmation, for celebration, for permission or opportunities to play or for expression.

Then again, there are needs specific to certain talent themes, like the need for more time, the need for people interaction, the need to connect with individuals, the need for constant comparison, for emotional expression, for action or activity, for accuracy, for routine, and yes, even a need for chaos.

Understanding talent themes as needs are so important because it is the key that unlocks the true development, and releases your talents to thrive and contribute fully. It is also the practical element in managing your talents well. If you know what a talent need, then you can feed it!

Even more, if the unique needs of talents are understood, it bring an element into the understanding of others that seldom get the attention it deserves within partnerships, relationships or teams. If you can view someone else not from the perspective of what they should bring, but from what they naturally need in order to function with  maximum energy, the dynamics change forever. 

Imagine being a manager who knows the exact needs of each of your team members, and providing them with the right opportunities and environment to unleash their natural energy within their talents.

Imagine being a spouse who can read the signs of your partners thoughts, feelings and behaviours when it longs for talent energy to flow.

Imagine being a parent who can guide your teenager according to his or her exact needs when it comes to the abundance of talent energy that flows through them.

Imagine being a person with enough self respect to be attentive to your own needs of talent, managing it well, so that your energy that is so unique to you can play as strengths when it combines with the needed knowledge, skill and experience.

(Referring to the StrengthsFinder tool, think about someone having "Focus Needs", "Maximizer Needs", "Includer Needs" or "Learner Needs".  Unpacking this with people you coach takes them to a new stratosphere of understanding themselves and others.)

• A simplified perspective on Talent

Whenever you hear the term "talent" again, do not think "ability", "skill", "performance" or "contribution".  Think ENERGY and NEED.  Then look at the people around you with the lens that identifies the energy for the beauty that it is (even when misdirected or miss-managed), and see their specific needs that yearns for opportunities.

If you want to experience the impact of this simple yet powerful approach, contact me at dries@strengths.institute . It is my passion to help people and companies thrive within their natural energy, by understanding and meeting the specific needs.

Dries Lombaard is the co-owner of Strategic Leadership Institute and NeuWorx, and has more than 7000 hours of Strengths Coaching experience over the last decade.  He is leading a vibrant and growing network of Strengths Coaches in Southern Africa, and works with corporate and multinational leadership and management teams and C-level leaders as a Strengths Coach and training facilitator.