Push them or Inspire them? Do I use Power or Force? - {Guest Article}

By Bjorn Martinoff 

There is a quote by my good friend Robert Kiyosaki that states:

“A coach isn’t your friend. A coach is there to push you beyond what you thought was possible or what you wouldn’t do on your own.”

And here is what I think about that quote: It’s a decent quote, and it is a coach’s job to help expand the client’s comfort zone however I would go beyond what my dear friend Kiyosaki is saying here. And because of that I really would like to say something about this little word ‘push’. Little words are of BIG importance in coaching. When people are pushed they are not the source of the momentum, they are not ‘at cause’.  
They tend to start to rely on being pushed rather than it being their own initiative. Hence when we ‘push’ people they can become dependent on someone pushing them. They will not learn to get themselves going. They will continually wait to be pushed. It’s a mechanical or machine-like relationship reminding me of my relationship with my laptop. 

Of course, this wouldn’t really be an empowering relationship but rather a managerial relationship like in Performance Management. Performance Management is NOT coaching. Real coaching is inspiring the person from within, bringing out their own inner inspiration which allows them to be pulled by their own vision rather than pushed by some external force. 

Pushing is Forcing. True power never pushes it rather inspires and some might call it allowing the vision/inspiration to pull you forward. This would be a pull generated from within and be an internal source. The best coaches will teach their clients to create this for themselves once the training wheels come off.

In the future my hope is that management will be inspired to inspire rather than push people. It will be amazing what can and will be accomplished when people are inspired.

Bjorn C. Martinoff is the author of the book ‘ Develop Exponential Power, a thought-leader, and CEO Coach with  nearly 20 years experience as a CEO Coach, Executive Coach, organizational development consultant, trainer and facilitator of top multinational, regional and global teams.  In his work, Bjorn applies insights from the behavioral sciences, action learning, and integral development to help the world’s greatest leaders rapidly and exponentially expand their individual and organizational capabilities and performance.