(This article is a follow-up on a previous post which you should read first as an introduction to the topic of "Conflict")
As explained in the previous article, each one of us has a unique approach towards conflict. When we view this through the lens of your natural Strengths, it provides even more clarity on how you would most naturally engage in conflict.
First of all, an understanding of the alignment between the four Talent Domains and the five Conflict Styles should be observed.
A simplified understanding of the four Talent Domains:
Executing Domain: a natural energy and need for tangible results and realities.
Influencing Domain: a natural energy and need for response and reaction from others.
Relational Domain: a natural energy and need for relationships and reassurance.
Thinking Domain: a natural energy and need for reasoning and reflection.
A simplified understanding of the five Conflict Styles:
Avoidance: a predominant need not to engage in conflict at all.
Competition: a predominant need to win when engaging in conflict.
Compromise: a predominant need to let go and follow the trend when engaging in conflict.
Accommodation: a predominant need to listen and create a solution for others when engaging in conflict.
Collaboration: a predominant need to work together towards the best outcome possible when engaging in conflict.
Alignment between Executing Talents and the Conflict Styles:
Based on my own research and Strengths Coaching experience, I do see certain patterns within specific talent themes playing out in conflict engagement - and the observations I make on that is what I explain below.
Within the Executing Domain of talent, we see a need for results and reality which will influence the engagement in conflict. Let us observe the different Executing Themes from this perspective. (It may also be helpful to click on the specific Talent name which will direct you to a page where some specific challenges of managing the energy and need of that theme is explained.)
Achiever: The theme of Achiever is all about a clinical drivenness towards reaching goals and achieving objectives. Achiever-emotions are directly linked towards the frustration of not being able to reach a goal or objective within a pre-set time frame, or the elation when goals and objectives are met accordingly.
This will give Achievers the tendency to gravitate more towards the Conflict Styles of Competition or Collaboration, simply because it is most hands-on and will lead to the achievement of goals.
How best to approach them in conflict: Collaborate or Compete.
Arranger: Arrangers need to stay busy, work on many things at once and create results in an organized manner. Their emotions are linked to the frustration that may come from not having many things on their plate at once, or not having the resources to get things done. Their fulfillment and joy is also directly linked towards a "well-executed plan" where things are working and progress are made over the total project perspective. Therefor I have seen Arrangers to gravitate towards Accommodation, Compromise and Collaboration styles of conflict depending on which one will be most productive in the broader scheme of things.
How best to approach them in conflict: Collaborate or Compromise.
Belief: The theme of Belief is a talent that acts and executes from strong conviction. I like to call it a "conditional" talent as its execution will be conditional according to values, beliefs and conviction. They can become extremely upset and completely disengage when things are going against their values or beliefs - and will be just as committed if it aligns with what they believe in.
I experience people with this talent to alternate between the Conflict Styles of Competition and Avoidance - depending on their convictions. Expect strong, emotional push-back when they stand up for their convictions!
How best to approach them in conflict: Accommodate.
Consistency: A very clinical and clear-cut approach to execution. People with Consistency will tend to follow the rules, the policies, the procedures and the regulations. Some may see this as a "Black-and-White" approach. Consistency have a sense for right and wrong that they simply back up with the rules or policies, and can therefor be extremely difficult to persuade to go beyond it.
The Conflict Styles that aligns with Consistency best will also be Competition and Avoidance - very much in the same way as Belief, but much more clinical and backed with rules and regulations.
How best to approach them in conflict: Collaborate.
Deliberative: As a natural investigator and extremely risk averse, the theme of Deliberative is naturally cautious and skeptical. They are brilliant at asking tough questions and exploring the risks and dangers. They have a strong need to be heard, rather than to make the final decision. If they feel they are not being heard, they simply withdraw. If the engage, expect meticulous criticism.
With this in mind, the Deliberative theme will be most comfortable in the Competition, Avoidance or the Collaboration styles - the latter especially when they feel they are taken seriously and being heard.
How best to approach them in conflict: Collaborate or Compromise.
Discipline: This is the talent of "structure". People with this talent will have a calm, orderly, structured and routinized approach towards conflict. They tend to also think very structured and even possess structured and calm emotions. With them you know what to expect...they are in a way refreshingly predictable.
This structured approach and even-keeled interaction will tend to make them gravitate towards Collaboration, Compromise and Accommodation styles of conflict - unless it means they have to collaborate with chaos, accommodate unstructured behaviour consistently or compromise towards unplanned change all the time.
How best to approach them in conflict: Collaborate or Compromise.
Focus: When I think of this talent I think of a Sniper: tenacious, accurate and meticulous in execution. They are single minded, focused and always have a specific outcome in mind. You can see them as Achievers with exact coordinates.
This may have the effect in conflict of them being focused on very specific details of the argument, addressing it point-by-point before moving on. They will most probably have a tendency towards the styles of Competition and Collaboration.
How best to approach them in conflict: Collaborate or Compete.
Responsibility: The talent of Responsibility can be seen as Achiever with strong emotion towards taking their work or results personal. The absolutely need to deliver, and if possible they prefer to deliver to a person - not just complete a task. This talent often need very strong management of their energy as it could easily hijack the owner with it's sense of ownership and responsibility.
People with this strong talent may choose the conflict styles of Collaboration, Competition or Accommodation in order for them to deliver.
How best to approach them in conflict: Collaborate or Accommodate.
Restorative: The fixer or healer. Restorative people love problems and want to be actively engaged in fixing it or getting a solution. The essence here is that the need to be actively involved in fixing - it should not be a strategic or analytical process for them only.
This energy may even cause them to see the weakness firts and engage with it.
People with this talent may tend to move towards a style of conflict that will get them to fix the issue, therefor it may most likely be Collaboration, Competition or, if it will fix the issue, even Compromise.
How best to approach them in conflict: Collaborate, Accommodate or Compromise.
In the next post I will unpack the talents that most probably love conflcit most of all, the Influencing Talent Themes, and their approach towards conflict.
Dries Lombaard is the co-owner of Strengths Institute South Africa, and has more than 7000 hours of Strengths Coaching experience over the last decade. He is leading a vibrant and growing network of Strengths Coaches in Southern Africa, and works with corporate and multinational leadership and management teams and C-level leaders as a Strengths Coach and training facilitator.
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