Managing your Talents [10] - Responsibility

According to Gallup, the essence of the talent theme of Responsibility is the following:

“Your Responsibility theme forces you to take psychological ownership for anything you commit to, and whether large or small, you feel emotionally bound to follow it through to completion. Your good name depends on it. If for some reason you cannot deliver, you automatically start to look for ways to make it up to the other person. Apologies are not enough. Excuses and rationalizations are totally unacceptable. You will not quite be able to live with yourself until you have made restitution. This conscientiousness, this near obsession for doing things right, and your impeccable ethics, combine to create your reputation: utterly dependable. When assigning new responsibilities, people will look to you first because they know it will get done. When people come to you for help — and they soon will — you must be selective. Your willingness to volunteer may sometimes lead you to take on more than you should."

But a talent on itself is quite meaningless unless you develop and manage it. That is why we believe that "a well managed talent becomes a strength, but a mismanaged talent becomes a detriment".

How do you manage the talent of Responsibility ?
  

First, understand the emotional impact of this talent.  Of all the executing talents, this one plays out exceptionally strong.  The reason for that is that is has such a strong emotional component to it.  With it's strong urge to accomplish goals, it has this psychological and emotional commitment towards the accomplishment of the goal.  It strongly aligns with the delivering of the goal towards someone.  Therefor, Responsibility is more than a value in this case, it is a combined drive to get the job done and not to let someone down.  Of all the talents, I find this one the most likely to keep people awake at night - either to finish what needs to be delivered, or because of the worries that you will let someone down. It is in this talents nature to have an emotional effect on you.  You should be aware of it in order to manage it well.

 How?

Just like with all other talents, if you know it, you can grow it.  Thus you need to know when this talent "kicks in", and when it starts affecting your emotions.  Remember that the emotional effect must not be seen as a detriment, it must simply be managed so that it does not overwhelm you, and this strong and wonderful talent starts controlling you, instead of the other way around. Emotional Intelligence is a key factor here, and you can develop that.  Your talent of Responsibility will have a driving and motivational effect on you, and that is superb.  But it must not drive you over the edge.  Realize that people will tap into this talent as they most probably see you as someone who always gets things done.  And that is great.  But the cannot simply keep stacking responsibilities your way and expect you to cope.  But you need to set those healthy boundaries. Do not hold a gun to your own head, and then blame others that they do not understand your work load.  Communicate clearly.  Learn how to say "no".  The next point connects with this.

A second issue in the management of Responsibility is the fact that you need healthy boundaries, and you should practice your "No" muscle.   If you understand it, you can command it.  This is crucial.  You should be in control of this talent in a healthy manner.  Otherwise it may destroy you, as the miss-management will turn this talent into a detriment.  This talent must not run wild.  You should fence it in with clear and healthy boundaries.

How?

First, learn that you are allowed to say "no".  Even if you feel this talent screaming inside you, if you do not respect your own limits and capacity (which is most probably already a lot more than the everyday person's) you will experience that this talent will cause other aspects of your life to fall apart.  The fact that you have Responsibility does not by default mean that you cannot say "no".  It has to do with how you manage this talent.  But, if the management of it is not healthy, it can cause serious problems for you.  I have more often than not encountered people in coaching this talent who struggles with their "no muscle".

A third issue in the management of Responsibility has to do with your strong connection with people, not wanting to let them down.   This is a wonderful trait.  But, if not managed, it could cause you relational problems, as you always feel indebted to people, and it could even turn into a "people pleasing" mode.  This relational aspect should be managed well.

How?

Think of yourself.  This does not mean that you are selfish at all.  Your talent of Responsibility will counter that always.  But, as they say in the airline industry:  "Put your own oxygen mask on first, before assisting the people around you".  In by far the most cases you should understand that the people you are delivering to does not have the same feeling regarding it than you have, but they do know that they could count on you.  You should draw the line.  You will be surprised at how accepting and understanding people are. Look after yourself.  You deserve some Responsibility towards yourself.

Embrace your great talent of Responsibility.  Understand it, so that you can command it.  Feed it, so that you know when you need it.

- by Dries Lombaard, founder and owner of Africanmosaic and TALENTmosaic.

Important note when reading this: in this series, I simply focus on the specific talent in isolation. I do not take the crucial element of Talent Dynamics (two or more talent themes combining) into consideration. This is very important as any Coach should take that into consideration when coaching people in their talents. But you need to understand the challenges that the talent theme on its own might hold. Therefor the challenges in managing the talent as explained below might not be applicable to everyone, as the dynamics with some of their other talent themes might override the specific challenge and "make up for it". But, knowledge of the most common management challenges in every talent theme still is crucial in talent development and when turning the talent into a strength.